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Yes, a narcissist does apologize to people even with their prideful behavior. But it might not be the way you think of it.
However, they find it hard to do it because it will bring down their ego; making them feel less of themselves – as they think.
They are human, they do feel sorry sometimes but find it hard to show or say it. Sometimes they might involve people to do it for them. maybe by getting them gifts to show they are sorry. But just so you know, when a narcissist is apologizing, they might not be straightforward in doing so.
But there is a deep question people ask and should be answered;
Does a narcissist genuinely feel sorry?
Yes, they do feel sorry ‘sometimes’ but always find it hard to own up to their mistakes. Most times this happens because they see themselves highly above people and have a deep sense of admiration for themselves.
Whatever a narcissist says to feel sorry for you, might not be as you think because they cannot bring their ego down for a sincere apology.
So, all I’m trying to say is that a narcissist does feel sorry but cannot risk owning up to their mistakes or showing that they are truly sorry.
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Does a narcissist ever apologize?
The truth is a narcissist does apologize but not often as you think. They are manipulative people, and have a sense of importance that they try to preserve. When you see a narcissistic person struggle to apologize for their mistakes, you should know that they do not want you to see them as weak – so they call it.
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How does a narcissist apologize
A narcissistic person’s apologies might be different from the way regular people apologize to you when they are wrong. They battle with admitting their wrongdoings, in order to preserve their ego. But they do apologize. Here is how a narcissistic person apologizes to you;
1. They send someone to make their apologies
As prideful as a narcissistic person may be, they do not want to show how sorry they might be to you, instead, they show to let people do that for them.
Their ego wouldn’t let them show their sincere apologies to you, they would either show a friend who is close to you or maybe someone random who can persuade you to believe they are sorry.
A narcissist wouldn’t want to let themselves be seen at the lowest point of their lives, that is why they don’t do their apologies themselves. Sending someone to do their apologies is what a narcissist does to show their apologies.
2. They get you something you love
In order to persuade you to love them again and not to feel any grudges for them, they try to get you something you like. These could be money, jewelry, gadgets, food, or something you have been hoping for. I see this technique as being manipulative just to get you on their side and not genuinely admitting their wrongs.
Because a narcissist is known to love themselves more than others and see themselves more than others, they find it hard to say “sorry” or genuinely apologize to you. Instead, they use something you love to get you on their side.
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3. They spoil you with money
They use money as a means to keep you hanging and loyal to them, which can result in losing your self-esteem. They make you worship money as they see it as your weakness, in order to buy you and save every apology that might come in.
A narcissistic person doesn’t care how it might go in the end, but they always know how they will their resources to bring you down on your feet. Money is a tool a narcissist uses to make you submit and forfeit every apology they might be holding.
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4. They manipulate with flattery words
As they might find it hard to give up an apology, they use flattery and sweet words to show their apologies. They are not always straightforward when it comes to proving they are sorry, they rather use words like ‘You know I love you and I will never hurt you’, ‘I would love to have a happy future with you and I will not do anything to compromise on it’ etc. There are a lot more flattering manipulative words a narcissist uses to apologize and never directly say they are sorry.
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5. They use stories to show their expression
They use stories as references to how sorry they are; which is a proud way of saying ‘I am sorry’. Mind you, they might not actually tell you they are sorry, but they use past life experiences or historical information in reference to their current situation to show you they are sorry.
You shouldn’t expect much from a narcissist, that’s because they are proud individuals who only focus on what they want and how they will get it. Whatever way a narcissist apologizes, just know they are never straightforward in expressing how truly they are sorry.
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6. They make promises
Someone with narcissism disorder shows you they are sorry by promising. They might go ahead in promising you a better future with them, convincing you that they will make you the happiest person in the world. They also promise you gift items that might seem absurd in a way, just to show their apologies.
They make promises to you to manipulate you and on the other hand, they win by preserving their ego. Whatever a narcissistic person does to show they are sorry is in their own interest. Maybe they might have seen how valuable you are and cannot afford to lose you.
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7. They boast before admitting
It pains a narcissist to admit their mistakes, but they do it. But in other to preserve their ego they give themselves credit while apologizing. A narcissistic person is known for having selfish behavior and looking down on people.
They do not easily admit their wrongdoings upfront, they try to say how they are not supposed to do this and make it look like they are better than apologizing to you. They go ahead making you feel like you don’t deserve this, putting you in an uncomfortable position.
These are tactics a narcissistic person uses to make you feel unworthy of their apology before they apologize.
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8. They just say ‘sorry’
A narcissistic person uses the word ‘sorry’ without meaning. It might be that, to them, they have apologized to you but to you, you don’t see it that way. They are not always precise in their actions; maybe because they don’t want to reduce their ego for an apology.
Just saying the word ‘sorry’ cannot be anything for a narcissist, because they don’t really mean they are truly sorry for their actions. When apologizing you need to show the person you offended that you are deeply sorry and let the person see it that way too.
But in a narcissist case, it is different when they are apologizing. As I have said before, do not expect too much from someone who has a narcissistic disorder, because they don’t see people the way you might see them. They always accept themselves first before handing their hands to others.
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Conclusion on how a narcissist apologizes
In conclusion, a narcissist’s approach to apologizing is often complex and insincere, primarily driven by their need to protect their ego. Rather than straightforwardly admitting their wrongdoings, they may employ various indirect tactics to appear remorseful.
This can include sending someone else to apologize on their behalf, giving gifts, using money, employing flattery, sharing stories, making promises, boasting, or simply uttering the word “sorry” without genuine intent. These methods reflect their manipulative nature and their struggle to genuinely connect with others on an emotional level.
Understanding these patterns can help one recognize the lack of true contrition in a narcissist’s apologies and protect oneself from being manipulated.
