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RED FLAGS

13 Red Flags in Friendships, You Must Avoid Immediately

by Abbey Light December 13, 2023

written by Abbey Light 14 minutes read

There are so many red flags in friendship that are ignored and can cause harm to you. A friend is there when no one is, a friend is someone who you share a common interest with. In other words, Good friendship is built on trust, love, and respect for one another.

Having a good friend is easy when they are approachable and positively impactful.

ARTICLE: RED FLAGS IN A RELATIONSHIP

What are the Qualities of Good Friendship;

They trust each other.
They are dependable.
Keeping each other secrets.
They share the same values and common interests.
They are good listeners.
They motivate each other.
They are family.

red flags in friendships you should know

What are the red flags in friendship?

Red flags in friendship are harmful, disrespectful, and manipulative behaviors that a friend shows to you. When a friend displays negative behavior towards you that aims to bring you down and cause you harm, it is a sign of a toxic friendship.

Living with a toxic friend can be a negative experience that can hurt your life, as they will try to deceive you in ways that can destroy everything around you.

In this blog, we are going to share the red flags that are common in friendships, and you should avoid those red flags before they destroy your life.

Red flags in friendship

1. They hurt us intentionally

This is an obvious red flag in friendship that can cause a lot of damage to you. “When a friend dislikes you, they may try to hurt you and make you feel unhappy in your life. They may not care about your interests or well-being and might want to see you fail or be ashamed. This is a big warning sign in a friendship that you should try to avoid.”

2. They lack loyalty

Having a friend you can trust is something worth living for in life. If you surround yourself with friends who constantly lie to your face and betray your trust by sharing your secrets with others, they are not true friends. Such individuals are self-centered and will not add any value to your life. Instead, they will only drain you emotionally and make you feel worthless.

NEW ARTICLE: RED FLAGS TO LOOK FOR IN YOUR FIRST DATE

3. They have manipulative behaviors

Friends who have manipulative behaviors use different tactics to control and exploit you. All they do is manipulate you like a puppet and disregard your feelings. These kinds of friends are toxic and should be avoided in your life.

Manipulative friends are friends that will hurt you emotionally and physically; they cannot impact anything in your life because all they care about is taking advantage of you for their benefit.

4. They keep secrets

There is no doubt that we do have boundaries that we keep in our lives, but when it comes to things that benefit us as friends, and they hide that from you, that means they don’t value your friendship, which is a red flag. Also, there are some personal problems they might be facing that need help in ways you can, but they don’t share with you, which means they can’t trust you.

Find a friend who can value and tell you the issues in their life, for that is a quality of a good friend.

5. They lack friendship support

Whenever your friends don’t support and encourage you in your life, they are bound to destroy and keep you neutral. They are also called toxic because they will drain you mentally and emotionally in ways you might not see coming.

Having a friend who will give you support for your growth and is always happy for your success is a friend that is worth more than gold.

ARTICLE: RED FLAGS IN A WOMAN YOU SHOULD KNOW

6. They feel arrogant

These kinds of friends are red flags for they are only there for themselves, they don’t care about you or your feelings. Arrogant friends are not good to keep in the sense that they will focus more on themselves, and they are secretly not happy with your achievements because they are full of themselves. Avoiding these kinds of friends will save you a lot of trouble in the future, for they are not sincere towards you.

7. They try to get into competition with you

Friends who are not happy with your wins and try to get into competition with you in your field of work and personal matters are not good friends. If your friend isn’t happy with your achievements, you should cut them off because they will do something else to bring you down.

Your friends know a lot about you; they have the advantage of taking you down when they start getting competitive with you. They don’t admire you and your journey of success; all they want is for themselves to take the glory and be the best.

8. They put less effort on your friendships

When you put so much effort into building your relationship with your friends and putting them first in your consideration, but all they do is show resentment and be less concerned, then that is a red flag in friendship.

They also make it seem like they are not friends with you and you are just friends with them, showing less effort to make the friendship work. This kind of friend shouldn’t be in your life, for they are toxic.

9. You start feeling uncomfortable with them

Most times, we always have that feeling that says to us that “they are not wanted in our lives”; you should trust your instincts and go with it. When you start uncomfortable, like something is off about them, or you start noticing some unusual behavior from them, you probably should stay away from those kinds of friends because even subconscious feelings don’t welcome them around.

10. They blame you for everything

When your friends start showing some toxic signs like blaming you for everything that happened, that kind of friend should be avoided. They make you insecure and guilty about yourself, they refuse to own up to their faults and take the responsibility for their actions instead, they only care to see you take the blame.

Friends who blame you for everything also show some manipulative traits in them, they want to hurt you emotionally by blaming you for everything that happens to them; these friends should be avoided for they are marked as red flags.

11. They don’t respect your boundaries

Friends that don’t respect the boundaries you set in your friendship should be considered as a red flag. These friends are likely to destroy and manipulate you; they overstep your boundaries and disrespect you at all times. You should stay far away from them because they are abusive and selfish, and they can cause a lot of damage to your life.

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12. They don’t apologize when they are wrong

You should be with a friend who doesn’t show remorse and care about how you feel. Friends who don’t apologize even when they are wrong by making funny jokes that may have hurt your feelings should be a red flag in your friendship. Also, friends who do not like to make peace and always feel full of themselves should be watched out for because they possess toxic traits in friendship.

13. They envy you unnecessary

Friends that envy you can be a red flag because they have the traits of jealousy, manipulation, and trust issues. They make you feel bad and unhappy about yourself and maybe unwanted. A friend should make you feel good about yourself and make you feel comfortable around them.

Friendship is all about respecting each other, celebrating victories together, and being there for each other.

ARTICLE: RED FLAGS IN A MAN YOU SHOULD KNOW AND AVOID

A final thought on red flags in friendship

In conclusion, identifying red flags in friendships is crucial for maintaining a healthy and supportive social circle.

When friends intentionally cause harm, lack loyalty, exhibit manipulative behaviors, keep secrets, lack support, display arrogance, compete negatively, put minimal effort into the relationship, create discomfort, shift blame, disrespect boundaries, and harbor unnecessary envy, these behaviors signal toxic traits.

Recognizing these red flags allows for protecting one’s well-being and cultivating relationships built on trust, mutual respect, and genuine support. A fulfilling friendship celebrates victories together, respects boundaries, and contributes positively to each other’s lives.

It is very important you choose your friends wisely, and also, if you begin to see some toxic traits in your friendship, then you should stay far away from them to avoid getting emotionally and mentally hurt.

December 13, 2023 0 comment

red flags in a relationship - signs and more

Relationship tips

14 Biggest Red Flags in a Relationship (Signs Not to Ignore)

by Abbey Light December 10, 2023

written by Abbey Light 15 minutes read

Most red flags in an abusive relationship are visible to you, and you don’t need someone to tell you. On the other hand, people try to ignore these red flags found in their relationship to avoid losing their partners.

It is important to deal with everything that makes you uncomfortable in your relationship; it is also important that you tell your partner what is bothering you that needs fixing.

Imagine living to please your partner while you suffer the toxic behavior because you don’t want to risk losing them. Understanding and caring for one another is vital as it defines a “relationship.”

ARTICLE: RED FLAGS ON FIRST DATES AND IMPRESSIONS TO AVOID

What is the meaning of a relationship?

A relationship connects two people in ways that bring understanding, love, trust, respect, empathy, and shared emotions. One should be able to deal with, show up to solve their partner’s problem, and create understanding with one other; that is what makes a good and healthy relationship.

Red flags for a new relationship

In most relationships, love and lust blind people in new relationships from seeing the red flags. Most red flags are obvious at first sight, and you must make careful decisions about them.

Another way to know a red flag from your partner is to trust your instincts. If they seem to be going off and behaving in ways you don’t like, then you should avoid them before they bring physical and emotional harm to you.

In this blog, we will see the red flags in a relationship set to cause danger and destruction to your life. You must also avoid these types of people and trust your instincts on them.

Red flags in abusive relationships to look out for immediately

1. Controlling behavior

being in a relationship requires working together as a couple, not being controlled and manipulated by your partner or their families. When your partner is controlling, you begin to see these threats in your relationship;

You don’t have a voice in the relationship
Your partner treats you as insignificant
You feel emotional and physical harm from your partner, which can lead you to low self-esteem and depression.

All these controlling behaviors are unhealthy signs of a relationship. Have a partner who can love, honor, support, and value you in a relationship with their friends and families.

2. Trust issues

Trust issues can be a red flag in a relationship because they indicate a lack of communication and security. The moment your partner stops showing trust, you will begin to feel neglected, emotionally, and physically abused by them. Trust keeps the bond in the relationship strong and healthy; that’s why couples live 20 to 50 years in a relationship because they trust each other and share their secrets.

3. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a red flag in an abusive relationship and is considered to be inappropriate for your health. When your partner involves manipulating you emotionally and making you doubt yourself and feel uncomfortable, you should consider it a red flag, and you shouldn’t be in that kind of relationship.

ARTICLE: RED FLAGS IN A WOMAN YOU SHOULD AVOID

4. Constant misunderstanding

Resolving conflicts in a relationship is what makes the relationship strong and healthy. But the moment you and your partner constantly argue, begin to develop hate for each other, and you see no light in the tunnel, I think it better that you cut all ties to the relationship because all you will do is keep hurting each other every time.

5. Love bombing

Love bombing in a relationship is a red flag and should be avoided when you have such a partner. This is a form of emotional manipulation whereby your partner does whatever they can to get what they want, and you might end up losing yourself and hating your friends and families all because you are on the side of your partner, who emotionally manipulates you.

6. Doesn’t respect other people

There is a saying: to be given respect, you need to respect people. When you are caught up with a partner who doesn’t show respect for people, whether an elderly person, a waiter, or even your family, it is most likely that they can’t respect you.

You should find someone who shows respect for people and values everyone equally because only that can you see someone who can respect and value you.

ARTICLE: RED FLAGS IN A WOMAN TO LOOK OUT FOR IN A RELATIONSHIP

7. Living a fake life

When you are living with someone who doesn’t show you their real personality, then that is a red flag in a relationship.

Living a fake life means the person isn’t honest and trustworthy with you, which is unhealthy.

You don’t want to be living with someone who lies about themselves, whether it is their background, feelings, achievement, or personal identity. Also, note that living with this kind of people carries a lot of risk.

NEW ARTICLE: GREEN FLAGS IN A GIRLFRIEND YOU MUST KNOW

8. Bad body grooming

As the bible says, cleanliness is next to godliness. A partner who doesn’t care for themselves is living unhealthily, which can affect your relationship.

You need a partner who represents themselves well, like cleaning their homes, cutting their hair, using body deodorants, taking regular showers, and having a partner who can groom himself properly. You don’t want to be living with an unclean person in your home who doesn’t know how to take of themselves.

9. Overly jealous

Having an overly jealous person in a relationship can bring you a lack of trust and comfort. When your partner is jealous, they can be controlling and monitoring sometimes because of a lack of trust and respect for you, which could be scary and frustrating.

Most times, to fix these kinds of people, you need to make amends with them by having a conversation and opening up to them, and making them understand. This way, you can bring your partner love, trust, and intimacy.

ARTICLE: 12 SIGNS YOU’RE LIVING IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

10. They don’t take you out

When your partner doesn’t take you out on a date or with their friends, it signifies a red flag in a relationship. This could be that your partner is hiding something from you and could mean they don’t want to spend quality time with you, which could lead to feeling unappreciated and insignificant in their lives.

You need a partner ready to share every moment with you, with his friends and family, and for the world to see as well. A partner who can appreciate every moment with you and make you feel valued and respected in the relationship.

11. Physical and emotional abuse

Physical and emotional abuse in a relationship can be a red flag because your partner might be threatening to hurt you or manipulating you in ways that make you feel useless in the relationship. These red flags can make you feel depressed and can also bring a lot of bad side effects to your life in ways that make you feel not wanted.

It is also important to find happiness in your relationship the moment you feel physically and emotionally abused; you should reconsider your thoughts in your relationship before it gets worse.

NEW ARTICLE: RED FLAGS IN FRIENDSHIPS YOU MUST WATCH OUT FOR

12. Lack of support

In a relationship, your partner should care and value your interest. When your partner isn’t supporting and encouraging you in the relationship, it could mean they aren’t feeling you anymore.

Lack of support can make you feel resented and lonely in the relationship and can greatly affect you.

You should have a partner who listens and shows every bit of appreciation for what you do in your life.

NEW RELATED: 14 FRIENDSHIP QUALITIES TO RECOGNIZE

13. They don’t respect your boundaries

In a relationship, it is important to put your partner in the picture and consider their feelings because you love and trust them, and there are certain boundaries we keep that shouldn’t be tampered with.

Your boundaries are personal feelings and mental well-being, and a partner should respect and understand your boundaries because they love and care about you.

NEW ARTICLE: 14 KEYS TO INSTANTLY ATTRACT YOUR GIRLFRIEND

14. Negative instincts

When you begin to sense something off about your partner or in the relationship, it is important to trust your instincts because they were put in your subconscious mind for a reason.

Most times, people ignore their instincts and trust what they see and hear from their partners, which is not bad but could be deceiving sometimes. It is good to look inward and check what you are feeling; if there is anything that needs fixing and attention from your partner, you should take action.

Final thoughts on red flags in a relationship

In as much as we are in a relationship, we do have ups and downs in a relationship, but there are some red flags that we shouldn’t ignore that can be abusive, manipulative, depressing, and controlling.

Red flags in a relationship should be treated and not be dismissed at all, that is why I have listed out the red flags in a relationship whether you are about to enter a new relationship with your partner or you’re in a relationship, you shouldn’t ignore these red flag signs in a relationship.

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December 10, 2023 2 comments

Relationship tips

11 Red Flags to Look Out for on the First Date

by Abbey Light December 9, 2023

written by Abbey Light 11 minutes read

When having your first date with someone, it might seem exciting at first sight but it is important to observe the red flags that will seem inappropriate to you.

We are likely taking risks meeting new people because we don’t know them, and we want to get to know them personally. There will be some challenging signs that might not fit your preference for someone.

Also note that there is no perfect person, no dream man until you meet and understand yourselves.

When going on the first date, people tend to show a lot of behaviors that might seem negative and also might seem like the kind of person you want. Now, in this article, we will uncover the red flags that indicate on the first date with someone.

ARTICLE: RED FLAGS IN A MAN TO LOOK OUT FOR

Why you should go on a first date?

You must meet your first date so you can come out of your shells, get to know them better, and learn their personalities. Meeting on social media isn’t enough these days because of many fake profiles on Tinder and fake lifestyles from a person.

Going on your first with someone will bring out the likes and dislikes of a person in ways that match your preference.

11 Red flags on the first date

1. Frequently on their phone

It is a red flag when your date constantly texts and attends to messages on their phones and doesn’t give you their full attention. This also shows disrespect to you, because he doesn’t value and appreciate your presence around him.

If they truly want to spend time with you on the first date, they will remove all distractions like their phones and focus all their attention on the little details about you.

2. Forgets your name

It is disrespectful when someone doesn’t notice the little details like your name. If someone asks you five times for your name without the issue of spelling, then you should take that as a red flag.

Your name represents you and carries a lot of prestige and value. The moment they start acting up about your name, you should consider that they may not be taking you as seriously as you think, and that should be enough reason for you to step back.

3. Wants to get too touchy so soon

That should be a quick red flag when you begin to see that your date is all about just having you in their bed and not interested in anything about you. It is better to understand one another before getting too touchy. When you are rushing to get in bed with your date without properly addressing and understanding each other body language, I would call that inappropriate behavior.

ARTICLE: RED FLAGS IN A WOMAN TO QUICKLY AVOID

4. Talks a lot about their ex

This red flag might not be bad in some cases, but when you are not asked about your ex, and they keep relating that on every topic or scenario, that is a red flag on a first date.

In most situations, when going on your first date, you shouldn’t talk about your ex until your date probably asks you.

Remember that you are trying to create a new bond and relationship with your date; leaving your past relationship out of this can be more beneficial for the date.

5. Showing off

When your date keeps showing off, a lot of times, to create admiration and attention from other people can annoy you. When they don’t give you attention and prove their worth to you, it might be said that they are clout chasers and might not be a good fit for your life.

ARTICLE: 14 RED FLAGS IN A RELATIONSHIP (SIGNS NOT TO IGNORE)

6. Feeling arrogant

People who are all pompous and full of themselves on the first date can make you feel disrespected, unappreciated, humiliated, and less of yourself. It is important to avoid these types of people because they are full of negative and unhealthy living. You should look for a person who is humble, respectful, and open-minded to you when you’re on a date with them.

7. Making you feel uncomfortable

There are several red flags your date can make you feel uncomfortable and irritated; these are some common red flags that might make you feel uncomfortable on a date with them:

Disrespecting your boundaries.
Making you feel insecure.
Hiding secrets from you.
Making you feel less about yourself.
Ignoring you.

8. Rude to people around you

Understanding the basics of communication and connection in your date is important. Your date should be respectful to people around you; for example, when your date is rude to the waiter, the doorman, or the customers around you, you should immediately tick that as a red flag.

A date should show all respect to people around you and show that he can be respectful to you even in uncomfortable times.

ARTICLE: SIGNS OF TOXIC (UNHEALTHY) RELATIONSHIPS

9. Constantly focused on other people

When you’re on a date with someone who is always focused and giving their attention to others, it can be frustrating and hurtful. You may feel like you are not important, you may feel like you are not valuable, may also begin to question yourself and feel regrets. I would prefer you immediately avoid them because they can ruin your feelings.

10. They don’t like to talk about themselves

When you are on a date, and you ask them questions, they hide secrets because they don’t want to get exposed; they prefer to get more information from you. This might be very uncomfortable for you to be around this date type.

Perhaps they might be nervous and lack low self-esteem.

To deal with this type of person, I would prefer you communicate your feelings and expectations with them, and if that doesn’t work, you should withhold talking about yourself with them.

ARTICLE: RED FLAGS IN FRIENDSHIPS YOU MUST AVOID NOW

11. Trust your instincts

Trusting your instincts whenever you go on your first date with people will help you avoid wasting your time and energy on someone who might not be for you. It also helps you know people who may have ulterior motives.

Your instincts don’t just come and fill themselves; they are based on your subconscious observation of people and have triggered a negative feeling towards them. It is best not to ignore this red flag and trust your instincts on your date with people.

Final thoughts

First dates can be exciting and unpredictable. While it is important to keep an open mind and give people a chance, watching out for some red flags that might seem obvious on your date is also important. They can reveal your date’s personality, intentions, and value towards you.

My final thoughts on red flags on your first date are to trust your instincts towards people and never ignore the common red flags that might seem inappropriate.

ARTICLE: WAYS TO BECOME MYSTERIOUS AND ATTRACTIVE TO PEOPLE

December 9, 2023 1 comment

Men's tips

13 Red Flags in a Man to Look Out for in a Relationship

by Abbey Light December 7, 2023

written by Abbey Light 13 minutes read

Red flags in a man are the dangers that affect his partner in a relationship and should be recognized before it gets abusive. We all want a man who shows all the green flags but forgets to understand the red flags (negative side) of them.

Most times, when we are lost in love, we seem to ignore the negative side of things before it becomes too late and damaging to our lives.

That’s why it is also important that before you enter into a relationship and trust someone with your life, you should look for who matches your expectations as a woman.

What are Red Flags in a Man?

These are warning signs that can impact negatively on our lives, and they are also known to be toxic and unhealthy behaviors in a man.

However, many of these signs are not noticed immediately until you try to know the person more; you see some warning signs you should not ignore and run from.

Red flags in a man can be shown as manipulative, disrespectful, challenging, and arrogant behavior. I will share with you the red flags commonly found in men that you should avoid.

ARTICLE: RED FLAGS IN A WOMAN YOU SHOULD AVOID

13 Red flags in a man to look out for in a relationship

1. He is arrogant

Whenever you notice a man is full of himself and doesn’t care about you, that is a big red flag. He brags about his interest and leaves you out of the picture, making you look like you are not title and not much of an importance to his life. When looking into a relationship, you should consider having a man who cares about you because a relationship is about caring for each other.

2. He has a lot of female friends

It is not harmful to have female friends, but if the man has a lot of female friends and some of them that the partner isn’t aware of, then that is a red flag for a man. Some women are full of jealousy when they realize that they spend most of their time interacting or doing something else with another woman.

We all want our partner all to ourselves; that is why you must share what you like and don’t like with your partner for a much better understanding of your relationship.

3. He ignores you

You don’t want a man who doesn’t show you appreciation, doesn’t recognize your presence, and doesn’t have the time in the day to call. Every woman needs some attention in their life and if you don’t give her that attention as a man, you might be breaking your relationship.

The primary goal in a relationship is to create communication and a sense of awareness to your partner by appreciating her looks every day, listening to what she says, and showing support and encouragement to her. Without all these, your relationship is clueless and can be in jeopardy.

ARTICLE: HOW TO BECOME MYSTERIOUS AND ATTRACTIVE

4. He is disrespectful

When a man doesn’t respect you, your family, or your opinions, that is a red flag you should look out for. Man must understand and appreciate that you are in his presence whenever he is with his friends. Whenever you feel a man does not respect you, then you should probably cut off before he might emotionally or physically hurt you.

5. He doesn’t take care of himself

Grooming yourself is an excellent way to have a healthy relationship, and when a man doesn’t take care of the basic things like himself, he probably can’t take care of a woman.

Women are sensitive to a man’s appearance through body hygiene, scent, physical looks, and body build. As a man, you have to be attractive in your way, and starting from the basics is an excellent example of a healthy life.

NEW ARTICLE: 14 RED FLAGS IN RELATIONSHIPS (SIGNS NOT TO IGNORE)

6. He doesn’t give you time

If a man can’t spare a little bit of his day to be with you for a conversation or a date, he isn’t meant to be in your life. We live in an era where communication has been made very easy and reachable to anyone, and creating time from your busy day to spend time with someone counts a lot in a woman’s life.

Giving your time to a woman shows that she is valuable and entitled. Making her feel special is worth more than you can imagine.

7. He is manipulative

Men who seek only to get what they want out of you and don’t care about how you feel should be cut off. This type of man can emotionally drain you by getting what they want from you in ways you can’t see it coming. You must avoid a man whose intention is to hurt you emotionally and who doesn’t feel any remorse for his actions.

ARTICLE: WAYS TO DEAL WITH A MANIPULATIVE RELATIONSHIP

8. Doesn’t appreciate you

This is a red flag in a man who doesn’t care about what you do, your opinion, your feelings, and your encouragement. A woman is looking for a man who can spend their time talking about how he can help them, how he can build a business with them, and how he appreciates their contribution.

ARTICLE: RED FLAGS IN FRIENDSHIP TO AVOID NOW

9. He has anger issues

It is essential to trace this red flag in a man when he has an anger issue because it can be a lot of pain to take in as a woman. If you are with a man who has a problem managing his feelings, then you should stay away from that kind of man for your safety because they can abuse you emotionally and physically.

10. He doesn’t have a purpose

A man without a purpose is a man without a future. A woman should be looking for a man who has a purpose in his life and is driven to achieve them, not a man who has no aim to achieve anything and all he does is stay home, watch Netflix, and eat.

A man with a goal and vision has the power to take care of a woman.

NEW ARTICLE: 12 SIGNS OF A WEAK MAN IN A RELATIONSHIP

11. He speaks negatively of people

A man who doesn’t appreciate or respect people is bound to lack respect for anyone, and that is a red flag for a man you should avoid. When a man speaks negatively of people, he also can talk negatively about you to his cycle of friends. You should be with a man who appreciates everyone and feels concerned about the little things around him.

Note it is also possible that a man who speaks negatively of people can also say harsh and cruel words about you when you are no longer together.

12. He doesn’t keep his words

It is likely that when a man doesn’t keep his word, he is known to be a lair, which is a red flag. A man should value and honor his words as he speaks; if he says this is who he is, that is what he should be. A woman will respect and value a man who honors what he says, not a man who makes false promises and identity.

NEW ARTICLE: RED FLAGS ON FIRST DATES TO AVOID

13. He can’t stop talking about his ex

When a man talks a lot about his ex on a date, he might miss her much more than you can imagine. The biggest red flag in a man is when you are getting to know him, and he constantly uses his ex as a comparison to anything. He might indirectly tell you she is unique and has been a great woman in his life. As a woman, you should immediately spot this red flag and discontinue with him because there is not use in you wasting your time with a man who is fully engaged with his ex.

My final thoughts

A woman should pay attention to these warning signs listed as red flags in a man and avoid them because they can bring destruction and unhealthy relationships. Find a man who truly listens, enjoys your company, and appreciates the good things in you. Then enjoy the rest of your life together in good memories.

December 7, 2023 0 comment

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