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What Kills Long-Distance Relationships (11 Key Ways)

by Abbey Light January 22, 2025

written by Abbey Light 6 minutes read

Being in a long-distance relationship isn’t easy, I can tell for a fact, but it’s never impossible. It requires patience, love, and understanding of each other to make it work.

A long-distance relationship often dies off because they certainly don’t make plans about their futures together.

Let me explain,

Most long-distance relationships are dead because it takes them longer to meet each other, which can cause one’s interest in the other to fade. Also, other facts can include trust issues, lack of communication, lack of emotional attachment, and more.

That is why being in a long-distance relationship requires frequent communication with your partner, to prepare for what’s to come, because it is not impossible for the relationship to work.

Can a long-distance relationship work?

Yes, long-distance relationships work 79% of the time. For one to have a perfect long-distance relationship, one must be able to understand and work together with their partners.

But you must know that there will be ups and downs in the relationship, and it must be understood by both partners to fix issues and remember the spark that brought them into the relationship in the first place.

Are long-distance relationships worth it?

Yes, being in a long-distance relationship is worth it. Though there are circumstances where they meet each other on dating apps, which is okay, they will eventually want to make plans to meet in person sooner.

NEW ARTICLE: HOW TO SPICE UP A LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

What kills long-distance relationships

There are different ways a long-distance relationship might end, and the causes of these are based on the partners’ behaviors and views of their relationship. In this article, we will look into 11 things that kill long-distance relationships.

1. Indecisiveness towards your partner

Most long-distance relationships fail because people don’t figure out what they want from their partners, including their plans for the future. This makes them walk in a circle in their relationship and can easily fail because it’s a long-distance relationship.

Keeping your partner in the dark makes them wonder what you think of them and whether you truly want something serious.

2. Lack of steady communication

Communication is often the key to a steady relationship especially, a long-distance relationship. Without proper communication, the relationship falls apart.

As for a long-distance relationship, it is fair to say that you must consider communication a top priority, which can be achieved via video calls, and text messaging.

And to spice it all up, you can surprise them with a sweet morning text, telling them how badly you want to wake up next to them.

3. Avoiding the words of affirmation

Not reassuring your partner in a long-distance relationship can almost instantly destroy what you both have. Being in a long-distance relationship requires love and acceptance from both of you and if you don’t show or bring positivity into the relationship, it can become boring and may also reflect a sense of resentment.

4. Trust issues

If your partner is struggling with trust in the relationship, you should know that it will most definitely harm your long-distance relationship. A long-distance relationship is built on trust, which encompasses love and patience with each other.

A relationship cannot grow genuinely when there isn’t trust between partners. When a partner doesn’t trust you, they begin to lose interest in what concerns you.

5. Avoiding intimate conversations

Being in a long-distance relationship requires a lot of connection, and by that, I mean emotional and intimate connection. The best way to create that is by having a conversation that satisfies your desires. Intimate conversations might not completely fulfill you, but they can bring closure to your partner and help establish strong bonds.

But if you avoid this, especially when you know your partner might want to share a moment like this, you could kill your long-distance relationship.

6. Hiding things from your partner

Hiding things that concern you or your partner in a relationship can cause a lot of damage to a long-distance relationship. When you don’t share your feelings, work life, and desires with your partner, it can make you or your partner lose interest in one another and might even lead you to share with someone else.

7. Lacks time management

Timing has always been a major cause of long-distance relationships falling apart. Living in different time zones can lead to conflicts in communication, which may result in boredom and a loss of interest.

For example, one partner might be free at 9:00 AM, while the other is still asleep at 3:00 AM due to the time difference. To address this, you and your partner should make arrangements ahead of time to avoid constantly missing each other.

8. Avoid conversations about plans for the future

Having a plan for the future gives certainty to a long-distance relationship. However, when you don’t talk about it or provide reassurance about the future of your relationship, you risk ending it.

Most partners want to know where the relationship is heading, and that’s where you come in with goals and plans for what the future could hold for both of you. To kill a long-distance relationship just have to ignore what could be of the relationship with your partner.

RELATED: HOW TO REKINDLE A RELATIONSHIP

9. Becoming ignorant about their lives

To be in a long-distance relationship, you must be emotionally connected with your partner, which helps strengthen the bond. However, when you choose to ignore their concerns and needs, you create doubt in their mind about you, which can eventually damage or end the relationship.

You need to establish an emotional and psychological connection with your partner’s concerns; this way, you make them feel safe.

10. Lack of effort

Putting in less effort to make the relationship work is a deal-breaker in a long-distance relationship. This is one of the most effective ways to end a long-distance relationship—by caring less and ignoring the flaws and what’s going on in the relationship.

When the partners in a relationship come together and fix certain issues they strengthen their long-distance relationship. but when no effort is put in from one side, the relationship cannot be balanced.

This might be really inconvenient for the partner, but it is often used when you no longer find interest in the relationship.

11. Delayed in meeting face-to-face

The truth is, long-distance relationships can be good, but the longer the anticipation lasts, the more boredom sets in. The key point here is that you shouldn’t wait too long to see your partner in person, because everything feels more exciting when you finally meet.

Taking too long to meet can reduce the overwhelming excitement, which can quickly kill the relationship.

Final thoughts on what kills long-distance relationships

In conclusion, long-distance relationships require effort, communication, and trust to thrive. When partners fail to communicate effectively, lack reassurance, or avoid discussing future plans, the relationship becomes vulnerable. Additionally, ignoring emotional needs, neglecting intimacy, and putting in little effort can quickly lead to resentment or detachment.

To maintain a healthy long-distance relationship, both partners must stay emotionally connected, prioritize regular communication, and make consistent efforts to keep the relationship alive. Without these essential components, the relationship risks fading away, no matter how strong the initial connection may have been.

January 22, 2025 0 comments

Relationship tips

Bad Boy vs Nice Guy: 13 Differences Girls Wants in Relationships

by Abbey Light August 23, 2024

written by Abbey Light 12 minutes read

In today’s world men have been struggling with their relationship or approach to a woman; this involves struggling to know the type of man a woman wants. If they prefer a bad boy or a nice guy.

If you’re struggling with whether to be the nice guy or the bad boy with a woman, stop worrying. There’s a better way forward.

In this article, we’ll explore the qualities women seek in a long-term partner and who they are most likely to choose for a committed relationship.

Are you the man who’s genuinely sweet, caring, and fully committed to a woman, only to find that she’s not reciprocating your feelings or seems to be giving her attention to someone else?

The truth is that it is sad watching a woman you like give her all to someone else. You start to wonder if you’ve done something wrong or if she simply doesn’t like your personality.

Staying true to yourself is what makes you thrive in hardship. Trying to change who you are to win a woman’s affection often backfires, making things worse.

However, focusing on self-improvement not only enhances your natural appeal but can also make you genuinely attractive, drawing women to you effortlessly.

Who is a bad boy?

Bad boys are often seen as attractive because they show confidence and a dominant presence, which can be intriguing and captivating to women. They also don’t care about a woman’s feelings and tend to do what they want.

Although women seem to prefer bad boys because of how they carry themselves as dominant and go-getters. Bad boys are usually sexually attractive whenever they approach women, which is one of the main reasons why they are irresistible.

Who is a nice guy?

A nice guy is someone who is caring, kind, and generous to someone. They are often known to have a common weakness which makes them vulnerable and friend-zoned with a woman.

A nice guy’s weaknesses cover not being confident in himself, living a life of lies, and being a yes-man. Some people will not know this but a woman wants a man who is willing to stand his ground and be confident of who he is.

But a nice guy likes to hide in the shadows of others and avoids rejection from a woman; which is why they are always being ‘nice’ and showing a disingenuous personality.

NEW RELATED: NICE GUY VS GOOD GUY IN A RELATIONSHIP

Differences between a bad boy and a nice guy

13 differences between bad boy and nice guy

bad boy or nice guy, which would a woman prefer to be with? Both personalities possess unique qualities that captivate women, making them more appealing and desirable. In this article, we’ll explore the key differences that make each of them uniquely intriguing. Here are the differences between a bad boy and a nice guy;

1. Bad boys are confident while nice guys are not

Most times when a woman sees a nice guy they see them as just friends or would I say, yes-man. Nice guys are not as confident and direct as bad boys, which is why women are driven by them.

When a bad boy sees a girl he wants, he doesn’t hesitate to go for it, he is always willing to take the risk of acceptance and rejection. They are mostly confident when they speak and direct when they want something. They are not like nice guys who tend to beat around the bush before saying what they truly want.

2. Bad boys always know what they want while nice guys are indecisive

When a bad boy sees a girl he likes, he doesn’t mind taking the risk and pursuing her. In that case, a bad boy knows what he wants when he sees it. Also, they mentally prepare for anything that might be a problem, which makes them strong and courageous to face them.

But a nice guy, on the other hand, is indecisive or sketchy when it comes to approaching a girl he likes. Because they struggle with their approach to a girl, they present themselves as deceptive individuals, trying to win a girl’s affection through dishonest means.

NEW RELATED: SIGNS HE LIKES YOU MORE THAN A FRIEND

3. Bad boys are players, while nice guys are sneaky lovers

Nice guys show some traits that might seem positive which are being kind, generous, and loving to someone they love. But when things go sideways they tend to show their true character which is toxic.

A bad boy, on the other hand, tends to care less about a woman’s feelings but satisfy his ego and desires. They may not be as good at truly caring for you as a ‘nice guy’.

Instead, a bad guy is genuine from the first about who he is, and what he wants in a woman, while nice guys prefer to hide who they are to become someone or something else in order to please a woman.

4. Nice guys are needy for love while bad boys are assertive

Nice guys are usually the ones not in charge of their desires, instead, they let the woman take the upper hand because they are too scared to lose them. This trait of a ‘nice guy’ makes him weak and less important.

But bad boys are usually the ones in charge of the whole operation. Whatever they say, goes. They don’t like to show weakness of any kind to a woman; they prefer to stay solid and emotionless when making love and other decisions.

5. Bad boys are straightforward in a conversation, while nice guys are sneaky

Bad boys are never afraid to say something they want, that is why they are deeply admired. They are the type that when they say ‘let’s do’, a girl gets intrigued by the kind of spec they are. And also, if they don’t want or like something, they also speak up about it.

But a nice guy will prefer to be the ‘yes-man’ kind of guy. Whatever a woman wants he doesn’t mind going outside his comfort or boundaries just to make it happen. It is also why they are sneaky when it comes to their approach to a woman.

Let’s say a nice guy wants this woman to be with him in bed, he goes ahead talking about other things that are sketchy and not direct to the point. And which is why they end up in the friend zone. But a bad boy wouldn’t hesitate for once about what he seeks.

6. Nice guys are more supportive than bad boys

When it comes to an emotional approach a nice guy tend to show more care about someone they like. That’s because they seek something else in return, which is not genuine. When they show they like a girl, they tend to support them emotionally by being there for them, making her feel safe and happy.

But a bad boy doesn’t do all that ‘support’ thing. They are strict about their feelings with a girl. They don’t show emotional connection when are sexually attached to someone. But sometimes, they seem to love in the process but decide to hide it because it makes them feel weak as a dominant species.

7. Bad boys are deeply admired, while nice guys are friend-zoned

Girls usually fall for a bad boy over a nice guy because of how they approach and carry themselves. They usually appear well-dressed; which is sexy enough to please a woman at first sight. They are always charismatic in their approach to the woman they desire. Their gaze has a magnetic quality, effortlessly locking onto a woman’s eyes, while their words flow with a charm that makes a woman irresistibly drawn to kiss them.

Nice guys are ‘nice’ don’t get me wrong. But they are not as attractive as bad boys are to a woman. They are often kept in the friend zone, which is not bad, but only bad when you seek more from her.

NEW RELATED: SIGNS YOU ARE DATING A NARCISSIST

8. Bad boys are exciting to be with, while nice guys are boring

Well when it comes to going on an adventure, bad boys usually take the win on this because they know how to make every moment exciting for a woman. Most bad boys are experienced men, who have walked the path of making a woman feel like she is in paradise. That is why when a woman goes out with them, and usually feels some type of connection with a bad boy.

But nice guys are cool, but sometimes boring when going on dates with them. They often stick to routine, playing it safe and avoiding anything outside their comfort zone. Unlike a bad boy who isn’t afraid to shake things up, they shy away from bold, innovative approaches.

9. Bad boys have strong sexual energy while nice guys don’t

Most reasons why girls usually get some kind of ‘attachment’ to a bad boy is because they know how to drive a woman crazy. Bad boys tend to have more sexual drive to a woman right from their appearance, to the way they talk, to the way they handle situations. All these are what makes a woman find interest in the.

Nice guys are not as active as the way a bad boy operates. They tend to show a gentle and calm vibes of a man which is good but not as energetic as what a woman would expect from a man. And when it comes to their sexual vibes, they often don’t show much confidence as the way a bad boy does.

NEW RELATED: HOW TO BECOME A HIGH VALUE WOMAN

10. Nice guys avoid rejections, while bad boys learn from it

Nice guys are the type that will run away from rejection, which is also why they put on fake masks to make themselves pleasing to women. This trait of a nice guy is found to be toxic and unhealthy in a relationship because when things go sideways they begin to show the side of them you have never seen before.

When a girl rejects a bad boy, they tend to learn more from it by accepting it. They believe that they will grow stronger when they learn from life. That’s why they’ve achieved 65% of their goals today—because they’ve learned from their mistakes and continuously improved themselves.

11. Bad boys are considered to be more physically attractive than nice guys

Bad boys are usually the ones who put more effort into their looks. They believe that when you look good the rest can be made easy.

Bad boys focus more on their physique and their dress sense. They understand that their appearance influences how others perceive them.

Nice guys are usually concerned about what a girl thinks about them, Instead of putting in more effort into developing themselves. That is why when a woman notices a nice guy at first glance, she takes them as a ‘nice’ looking guy.

NEW RELATED: WHY WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO SIGMA MALE

12. Nice guys are perceived as mediocre while bad boys are high-value men

When a woman sees a bad boy, she sees him as everyone’s type because of how he carries himself and addresses matters. However, a nice guy exhibits the traits that a woman wants in a man but doesn’t satisfy them. A nice guy tends to live the life of a boring life which isn’t what a woman wants. They want someone who is attractive, strong, dominant and believes in himself.

13. Bad boys are mysterious, while nice guys are just predictable

Bad boys are fun to be with because they exhibit some mysterious traits. Their sense of mystery and unpredictability often make them incredibly intriguing and exciting to be around.

But a woman knows what comes next in a ‘nice guy’, their lifestyle is just so predictable. They know that they haven’t yet created something truly remarkable to impress you, which is why they often remain in the friend zone.

NEW RELATED: HOW TO BECOME MYSTERIOUS AND ATTRACTIVE

Conclusion on bad boys vs nice guys in a relationship

In summary, the choice between a bad boy and a nice guy often boils down to the contrasting traits each brings to the table. Bad boys are marked by their confidence, decisiveness, and assertiveness, often exhibiting a level of excitement and mystery that many find irresistibly attractive. They embrace risk, are straightforward in their intentions, and have a strong sexual energy that can create a thrilling experience. However, their approach can sometimes come off as emotionally detached or self-centered.

On the other hand, nice guys are characterized by their supportive nature and genuine care just for their own interests. They often go to great lengths to please, which can be seen as both endearing and, at times, predictable. While their kindness and reliability are appealing, they may struggle with confidence and decisiveness, leading them to be more likely to end up in the friend zone. They might avoid rejection and can sometimes appear mediocre compared to the high-value aura of a bad boy.

Ultimately, the preference between the two often hinges on what an individual is looking for in a relationship—whether it’s the thrilling, assertive energy of a bad boy or the supportive, dependable nature of a nice guy.

Do girls prefer bad boys or nice guys?

which would a girl prefer bad boys or nice guy

Well, most girls will prefer to be with a bad boy because of how exciting, adventurous, and attractive they look. But nice guys are great, but they lack the confidence and mysterious charm that bad boys have, which are the qualities a woman would want in a man.

But a bad boy does have some ‘bad’ sides that women don’t like which are;

They care less
They are players
They lack support for them
They are not committed

August 23, 2024 0 comments

Relationship tips

Nice Guy vs Good Guy in a Relationship – 15 Differences

by Abbey Light August 20, 2024

written by Abbey Light 12 minutes read

In a relationship, most men struggle with the term: Nice guy and Good guy. It is not hard to spot the difference in both men, that’s because they both carry similar responsibilities but different motives.

Being a nice guy in a relationship is referred to as; generous, kind, agreeable, and vulnerable. Most women don’t like dealing with these types of men in a relationship because they are perceived to have fraudulent traits.

But a Good guy in a relationship is one who is admirable, trustworthy, kind, and selfless. They do not do things that favor them in a relationship and they are observed to have an authentic lifestyle. A woman will always want to be with a man who can be true to himself and also true to her.

A woman wants to dwell with a man who shows genuine traits and characteristics and wants what is best for her.

But there is a common question people ask about nice guys;

Are nice guys attractive?

The truth about nice guys is that they finish last, which means they are usually used as a comfort to every girl. They do not see them differently, just as they see a bad guy or a good guy.

Although they show some traits that make a girl like them, those aren’t genuine. They might get what they want in the short run but never get to finish the race because, in the end, the truth will always come out.

You’re a nice guy and you are not receiving as much attraction from a woman as you expected, well, it might be because you aren’t coming out real with who you are.

Don’t forget a woman can spot an ingenious guy from a mile away.

NEW RELATED: NICE GUY VS BAD BOYS IN A RELATIONSHIP

What does a nice guy mean?

A nice guy is someone who shows kindness, and love and is unauthentic about themselves. They are ‘nice’ for a reason, which is making people love them for who they are not.

Women are attracted to people who are genuine about themselves and do not go out of their way to please them – this is the story of a nice guy.

It is no surprise that a woman will always prefer a bad guy over a nice guy and the major reasons are; that bad guys are genuine specimens while nice guys are the wannabe type.

Differences between a nice guy and a good guy in a relationship

difference between nice guy and good guy in a relationship

These questions are often asked in a relationship, if I am a nice guy to a woman will she love me or if I am a good guy will she give me love and attention? Don’t worry about it anymore. Most relationships fail because we haven’t gotten the right answers to our problems.

But are there really right answers to a problem in a relationship? Yes! Learning from people like me who have failed to have a woman in the past has cost me a lot and improved my relationship skills. Here are the major differences between a nice guy and a good guy;

1. Good guys are direct in communicating, while nice guys are sneaky

The reason why nice guys aren’t loved by a woman is that they don’t say ‘what they want’. They are often shy and sneaky with their approach to a woman which a woman can find creepy.

A girl will want a man who will come to her and say what he wants and likes about her. Those guys are often the good guys and bad guys who are genuine with their actions. Women are always attracted to people who show more confidence in themselves, and not someone who doesn’t know his way around how he wants to say something or do something.

NEW RELATED: HOW TO BECOME A SIGMA FEMALE

2. Nice guys don’t care about you as much as a good guy does

Nice guys are usually around you to get what they want and when they are done, they become a villain. They cannot be compared to a ‘good guy’ whose intentions are pure and straightforward to you.

I can tell you for free that a nice is only there to get you on his side and make you feel like they truly care about your feelings. They know how to act in a way that may seem authentic, which is why they always finish last.

Good guys on the other hand are respectful and generous when it comes to caring for people, they always finish first and get the best girls out there. So, why not be the good guy?

3. Good guys want the best for you, while nice guys want the best for themselves

Good guys are always authentic with the way they act and present themselves to you. If they don’t want something, they will tell you without discomfort. But even a nice person who is eager to get what they wants might put on a mask of deception to mislead you.

A nice guy will make you believe that he is the one for you and he genuinely wants the best for you, which is not true. They want you to love them and accept them for what you see which is an act of disguise. Being with a nice guy can be found unhealthy and toxic in a relationship because you cannot see the full story behind who they are.

4. Nice guys never put themselves first, but a good guy does

The reason a nice guy will not put himself into consideration is because he believes that if he doesn’t show that he is up to a standard or more than the person you hang around with, they will not be loved. They are the type you may call, fake it to make it. Which never ends well.

Unlike a ‘good guy’ who is true to himself and doesn’t act or dress a certain way to be who he is not. They believe anyone who sees him will love him for who he is and not who his not.

A good guy will always come out first in their decisions and always want to please themselves before others. They are genuinely admired for their self-presentation and the clear boundaries they set in their lives, unlike a ‘nice guy’ who goes out of their way to please others, potentially compromising their self-respect.

5. Good guys are admirable, while nice guys are not

As hard as it will hurt a nice guy, they are never admired or selected by a woman. They are usually friend-zoned and not regarded as someone special as that of a good guy.

Good people are admired for their respectfulness, authenticity, and loving nature. They are the type of men that a woman will see and say yes, he is the one I want to be with. A woman will continue to choose a good man over a nice guy because their way of life always matches what she truly wants.

6. Nice guys avoid rejections, while good guys accept it

Nice guys are always afraid of rejection which is why they are not authentic. They are the type that will do whatever it is which includes disguising their identity to make a woman proud of them. Nice guys are always scared that they are not good enough.

Speaking of good; Good guys are always appreciative even in times of rejection. They will take it in good fate and true the process. They always believe that; those who love them will love them for who they are.

A nice guy and a good guy are totally different in terms of their way of life. A good guy is always willing to accept rejection and improve in themselves while a nice guy will avoid rejection at all costs in order to be accepted.

7. Good guys are always genuine, while nice guys are unauthentic

Good guys are the type that will not compromise their happiness or standards in other to please someone. They would rather be accepted or not, for them not to change who they are; which is why a girl will always want them and they tend to finish first.

But a nice guy is someone who sees an opportunity to become someone or something else and take it, in order to be the right guy for a girl. This way of life makes a nice guy finish last at all times, which means they don’t and never get what they want.

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8. Nice guys are unreliable, while good guys are trustworthy

Nice are not to be trusted because of their wannabe nature. While good guys are trustworthy because they are true to who they are and what they want. It will be a challenge to be with a nice guy in a relationship because they will one day show their other side in the end – a fake lifestyle.

Being with a good guy brings a sense of peace and security in a relationship. They are the ones who will always love and pamper you when you need them the most.

9. Good guys protect their standards, while nice guys do ‘whatever it takes’

Good guys are guided by morals and principles which makes them standout and admired by ladies. But a nice guy is always the wannabe guy who does whatever it is in his power to please other people just to love the kind of person he is.

A nice guy does not set boundaries which is why they are usually intimidated and friend-zoned. They are not as confident as a good guy who is always charismatic about himself. Why not be the nice guy who ladies truly admire and never change who you are?

NEW RELATED: HOW TO BECOME AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN

10. Good guys do something without seeking anything in return, unlike nice guys

Good guys are pure when they help others. They work with their intentions clear without expecting something. But nice guys are opportunities, they seek every possible chance they get to make sure you are in debt to them.

Good guys are admired because of how well they see people and how they show love and care to others without expecting anything from them. Be a good guy who cares genuinely about people’s feelings and not a nice guy who cares about what he gets from others.

11. Nice guys are dangerous in hearts, while good guys are not

When something doesn’t go as planned for a nice guy, they will begin to show their other side – I bet you, you wouldn’t like it. They begin to show a side that is full of despise, hate, and greed especially when they are being rejected.

But a nice guy will always carry rejection as a fair play and learn from it. They are always willing to control their emotions and accept life as the way it is, which is totally different from a nice guy.

This happens to a nice guy because he always expects things to go exactly as he planned. He has a picture-perfect mindset that makes him stamped to a perfect life. And when it doesn’t go as planned, he unleashes his ‘true’ side.

NEW RELATED: HOW TO BECOME MYSTERIOUS AND ATTRACTIVE

12. Nice guys hide in the dark, while good guys step into the light

‘hiding in the dark’ means not staying true to yourself and others. Good people ‘step into the light’; they are authentic in who they are and are unconcerned with others’ opinions.

Being authentic to who you are is what makes a relationship last longer and gives it deeper meaning. People end things with their partners because they do not tell their partner what they need to hear, even if it hurts. Being genuine can make a relationship spicy and also bring about trust.

13. Good guys always know what they want, while nice guys are opportunists

When a good man sees a woman he likes, they will go for her straight up without cutting corners, but nice guys will always want to come with a corny behavior or lifestyle that will trick a woman into trusting them emotionally and physically.

Don’t be the guy who comes in with a fake identity but be the guy who tells a woman what he really wants. Rejection doesn’t kill when you accept it but only makes you stronger.

14. Good guys don’t care about what people think but nice guys do

What defines a nice guy is often his fear of rejection, including concerns about how others perceive his personality or his background. But a good man will always be who he is. He doesn’t compromise his happiness for others. They are committed to living their best life and only pursue what brings them joy.

15. Good guys finish first, while nice guys finish last

Whether a ‘nice guy’ likes it or not, they will always be the last and never get what they truly desire. But a ‘good guy’ will always get what he wants because he is direct, authentic, loving, and caring. If you consider yourself a nice guy or are trying to be one for a woman, I hate to say it, but you might not get what you think you deserve. You might think your plan is working but, in the end,, you will not get the satisfaction you wanted.

Final conclusion on nice guy vs good guy

In relationships, the distinction between a “nice guy” and a “good guy” is crucial. Nice guys often rely on indirect methods and may disguise their true intentions, which can come across as disingenuous or manipulative. They might seek to please others or avoid rejection, but their lack of authenticity and failure to express their true desires often leave them unfulfilled and friend-zoned.

In contrast, good guys are straightforward and authentic. They communicate their intentions clearly and are confident in their self-presentation. They build genuine connections based on respect and care, leading to more fulfilling relationships. Good guys accept rejection gracefully and focus on self-improvement rather than hiding behind a facade.

Ultimately, being a good guy means valuing authenticity, setting healthy boundaries, and genuinely caring for others without expecting anything in return. Good guys are admired and valued because they are true to themselves, leading to more meaningful and lasting relationships.

August 20, 2024 0 comments

signs a guy likes you more than a friend

Relationship tips

14 Amazing Signs He Likes You More Than Just His Friend

by Abbey Light August 10, 2024

written by Abbey Light 9 minutes read

Are you having trouble finding out a guy is really into you, I mean, if he loves you more than just a friend? Well, there are related signs you should know that you might not notice immediately.

Some men are silent when it comes to expressing their love for a girl. This could be, because he might be afraid of rejection or sometimes want you to figure it out.

In most cases, a woman may take it as pride if a man doesn’t tell her how he truly feels about her. However, sometimes a man may refrain from expressing his feelings to avoid embarrassment if the woman does not reciprocate.

If a man truly loves someone, he will do crazy things to make her feel happy around him. And this includes making her feel safe, loved, and valued as a woman. Truly, if a man likes you more than a friend, you should be able to discern it through these signs that I will share with you.

How to know if a guy is really interested in you

To know if a man is interested in you isn’t that hard to notice. It requires calm observation and dedication. It is just like the opposite; some women tend to have mysterious traits that involve careful observation by men. Here is how you will know a man is interested in you;

He admires your looks
He protects you
He is always willing to spend time with you
He does like when you cry
He has your best interest at heart
He always wants to know more about you
He surprises you with gifts
He always wants to hold hands
He supports you

Signs a guy likes you more than a friend

There are many ways to know a guy likes you more than just his friend and wants you to know about it. In a normal circumstance, if we like someone who is a friend to us, we begin to draw close to that person, and our way of responding changes at that very moment. Here are the signs a guy likes you more than just a friend;

1. He defends you anywhere

If a man likes you he shows his interest by defending you anywhere. He doesn’t let anyone talk bad about you. He is like a loyal partner who will pledge his life to see you happy.

A man is always willing to protect something he loves so dearly which includes his woman. It is always essential for a woman to pay attention to these signs in order to determine if a man’s feelings for her go beyond mere friendship.

2. He holds your hands in public

When a man holds your hand in public, it means several things that go beyond just friendship. It signifies that he wants to protect you, wants others to recognize the bond between you both, and desires your attention to be on him.

Holding hands in public can be a way a man wants you to know that ‘we are more than just friends’. He is never ashamed of the kind of girl you are and wants people to see that. Which is why they are potential lovers and confident about what they want.

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3. He teases you about his future with you

Some men may not come out direct about their feelings because they don’t know how you will take it. Most times if a man is really into you, he will want to give a joke or a scenario of how perfect your lives will be together.

He shows his deep interest in you by telling you about his future and expects you to understand it. He might also come up saying he wants to marry you or maybe have beautiful kids with you – in a joke. But to him, he is telling you a point. In order words, if a man teases you about his future with you it means he wants you more than just a friend.

4. He talks about how beautiful you look

If a man is interested in you, he doesn’t know how to hide his thoughts when he sees something gorgeous or outstanding. When he compliments you, he shows you how grateful he is to be around you. Your beauty makes him ignore everything around him and only sees you as the prize.

He makes you feel special even when you think you aren’t feeling the same way. He clouds you with good and comforting words and appreciates everything that makes you who you are. He doesn’t let negative impressions from others make you lose yourself and feel insecure – he is always the right person who make you feel safe.

5. He showers you with surprises

When a man loves you more than a friend, he is always good at surprising you with gifts. He brings you things you like and pays attention to things you hope to get. He always cares about what makes you happy and works with it.

A man is always big on surprises that’s because he wants to show you how much he truly cares and loves you. It is important that you pay attention to these little details and see a man who he really is to you.

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6. He doesn’t like other guys around you

Most times when a guy likes you, he becomes protective of you around other guys. He doesn’t like it when men are clouding you or asking you on dates, which is a deep sign of jealousy.

He wants you all to himself as a friend and lover. He feels insecure when men begin to see you the same way he sees you – meaning he doesn’t want to share you with anyone else. In other words, a man doesn’t like it when men are around you because they see you more than a friend.

7. He constantly talks about how amazing you are

A man will never shut up about how amazing you are, especially to him. He values and cherishes every moment he spends with you and doesn’t want to shut up about it to anyone including his friends and family. He makes sure anytime you feel down, he is there to comfort and encourage you.

He behaves like a partner who has your best interest at heart and is always willing to support you emotionally. This sign shows that a guy likes you more than just a friend and wants to let you know about it.

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8. He wants to get touchy

Another way to know if a guy likes you more than just friends is when he starts getting touchy with you. What I mean by ‘touchy’ is that he wants to get intimate with you, either by kissing, hugging, or holding in a more intimate manner. This sign shows that he doesn’t want to be just friends with you, but something more romantic.

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9. He makes sure you feel safe around him

When a guy likes you more than a friend, he ensures that every moment spent with him is worth it. He doesn’t want to witness your sad moments, only the happy times. He does whatever he can to ensure you feel comfortable: by surprising you with dates and events. This type of friend wants more from you and wants you to pay attention to the little details.

10. He acts up when you go on dates with men

Men can be jealous sometimes, and that is normal. We sometimes want the person we love to always be around us, and spend quality time. Instead of going on dates with someone else.

A man will begin to question himself, saying; what is it that the man will do that I cannot do better or what does he have that I don’t. This act is known as jealousy.

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11. He is always there when you need someone

There are times in life when you feel like the world is crashing down and things seem to be going wrong. And there is always that one particular friend who shows up whenever you are feeling low. They will not rest until they see you happy and on your feet again.

He might not tell you directly but he wants you to understand how much he cares about you. This is deep. Men also use body language to show their feelings, which they do often to people they care about.

12. He lets you into his personal life

There are some men who are strict with boundaries and never let anyone violate them. But when it comes to someone they care about they are always free with them and don’t care about what comes next. When you encounter this type of man, you should know that they have some butterflies in their butter for you.

Also, he shares some secrets like his family, work, and other things he doesn’t tell anyone. He does this not just because he trusts you, but because he feels some kind of connection with you.

13. He is always excited to go out with you

There is nothing more fun than a man who is always energetic to be with you. When you see a man who sacrifices his time to be with you; know that he feels something special with you. He wouldn’t want to miss any moment with you. He tries to make you happy, feel comfort and excitement when his with you.

Sometimes these feelings are found in their eyes, and they are genuine. You should be careful to observe every moment your “friend” spends with you and see that he does beyond what friendships are normally defined.

14. He pays attention to small details

A man who finds interest in you will always listen to everything you say – the little details. Even when you think they don’t listen they always do because they like you more than just friends. They find you more attractive and always want to be that ‘guy’ who pays attention to you.

They can go as far as surprising you with your demands which can be so exciting. And they do this not just because you’re friends with them but also because they see you as more than just friends.

Final conclusion

14 signs a guy likes you more than just friends

In conclusion, recognizing the signs that a guy likes you more than just a friend can help you understand his true feelings and intentions. From defending you in public to paying attention to the smallest details, these actions often speak louder than words. A man who consistently shows you affection, protects you, and wants to spend time with you is likely interested in more than just friendship.

Being aware of these signs can guide you in understanding his feelings and deciding how you want to move forward in your relationship.

August 10, 2024 0 comments

Life Growth

How Does a Narcissist Apologize to People: 8 Ways They Do it

by Abbey Light July 18, 2024

written by Abbey Light 7 minutes read

Yes, a narcissist does apologize to people even with their prideful behavior. But it might not be the way you think of it.

However, they find it hard to do it because it will bring down their ego; making them feel less of themselves – as they think.

They are human, they do feel sorry sometimes but find it hard to show or say it. Sometimes they might involve people to do it for them. maybe by getting them gifts to show they are sorry. But just so you know, when a narcissist is apologizing, they might not be straightforward in doing so.

But there is a deep question people ask and should be answered;

Does a narcissist genuinely feel sorry?

Yes, they do feel sorry ‘sometimes’ but always find it hard to own up to their mistakes. Most times this happens because they see themselves highly above people and have a deep sense of admiration for themselves.

Whatever a narcissist says to feel sorry for you, might not be as you think because they cannot bring their ego down for a sincere apology.

So, all I’m trying to say is that a narcissist does feel sorry but cannot risk owning up to their mistakes or showing that they are truly sorry.

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Does a narcissist ever apologize?

The truth is a narcissist does apologize but not often as you think. They are manipulative people, and have a sense of importance that they try to preserve. When you see a narcissistic person struggle to apologize for their mistakes, you should know that they do not want you to see them as weak – so they call it.

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How does a narcissist apologize

8 ways a narcissist apologizes to people

A narcissistic person’s apologies might be different from the way regular people apologize to you when they are wrong. They battle with admitting their wrongdoings, in order to preserve their ego. But they do apologize. Here is how a narcissistic person apologizes to you;

1. They send someone to make their apologies

As prideful as a narcissistic person may be, they do not want to show how sorry they might be to you, instead, they show to let people do that for them.

Their ego wouldn’t let them show their sincere apologies to you, they would either show a friend who is close to you or maybe someone random who can persuade you to believe they are sorry.

A narcissist wouldn’t want to let themselves be seen at the lowest point of their lives, that is why they don’t do their apologies themselves. Sending someone to do their apologies is what a narcissist does to show their apologies.

2. They get you something you love

In order to persuade you to love them again and not to feel any grudges for them, they try to get you something you like. These could be money, jewelry, gadgets, food, or something you have been hoping for. I see this technique as being manipulative just to get you on their side and not genuinely admitting their wrongs.

Because a narcissist is known to love themselves more than others and see themselves more than others, they find it hard to say “sorry” or genuinely apologize to you. Instead, they use something you love to get you on their side.

3. They spoil you with money

They use money as a means to keep you hanging and loyal to them, which can result in losing your self-esteem. They make you worship money as they see it as your weakness, in order to buy you and save every apology that might come in.

A narcissistic person doesn’t care how it might go in the end, but they always know how they will their resources to bring you down on your feet. Money is a tool a narcissist uses to make you submit and forfeit every apology they might be holding.

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4. They manipulate with flattery words

As they might find it hard to give up an apology, they use flattery and sweet words to show their apologies. They are not always straightforward when it comes to proving they are sorry, they rather use words like ‘You know I love you and I will never hurt you’, ‘I would love to have a happy future with you and I will not do anything to compromise on it’ etc. There are a lot more flattering manipulative words a narcissist uses to apologize and never directly say they are sorry.

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5. They use stories to show their expression

They use stories as references to how sorry they are; which is a proud way of saying ‘I am sorry’. Mind you, they might not actually tell you they are sorry, but they use past life experiences or historical information in reference to their current situation to show you they are sorry.

You shouldn’t expect much from a narcissist, that’s because they are proud individuals who only focus on what they want and how they will get it. Whatever way a narcissist apologizes, just know they are never straightforward in expressing how truly they are sorry.

6. They make promises

Someone with narcissism disorder shows you they are sorry by promising. They might go ahead in promising you a better future with them, convincing you that they will make you the happiest person in the world. They also promise you gift items that might seem absurd in a way, just to show their apologies.

They make promises to you to manipulate you and on the other hand, they win by preserving their ego. Whatever a narcissistic person does to show they are sorry is in their own interest. Maybe they might have seen how valuable you are and cannot afford to lose you.

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7. They boast before admitting

It pains a narcissist to admit their mistakes, but they do it. But in other to preserve their ego they give themselves credit while apologizing. A narcissistic person is known for having selfish behavior and looking down on people.

They do not easily admit their wrongdoings upfront, they try to say how they are not supposed to do this and make it look like they are better than apologizing to you. They go ahead making you feel like you don’t deserve this, putting you in an uncomfortable position.

These are tactics a narcissistic person uses to make you feel unworthy of their apology before they apologize.

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8. They just say ‘sorry’

A narcissistic person uses the word ‘sorry’ without meaning. It might be that, to them, they have apologized to you but to you, you don’t see it that way. They are not always precise in their actions; maybe because they don’t want to reduce their ego for an apology.

Just saying the word ‘sorry’ cannot be anything for a narcissist, because they don’t really mean they are truly sorry for their actions. When apologizing you need to show the person you offended that you are deeply sorry and let the person see it that way too.

But in a narcissist case, it is different when they are apologizing. As I have said before, do not expect too much from someone who has a narcissistic disorder, because they don’t see people the way you might see them. They always accept themselves first before handing their hands to others.

Conclusion on how a narcissist apologizes

how does a narcissist apologize to people

In conclusion, a narcissist’s approach to apologizing is often complex and insincere, primarily driven by their need to protect their ego. Rather than straightforwardly admitting their wrongdoings, they may employ various indirect tactics to appear remorseful.

This can include sending someone else to apologize on their behalf, giving gifts, using money, employing flattery, sharing stories, making promises, boasting, or simply uttering the word “sorry” without genuine intent. These methods reflect their manipulative nature and their struggle to genuinely connect with others on an emotional level.

Understanding these patterns can help one recognize the lack of true contrition in a narcissist’s apologies and protect oneself from being manipulated.

July 18, 2024 0 comments

Relationship tips

10 Ways to Hurt a Narcissist: Break Their Hearts for Good

by Abbey Light July 10, 2024

written by Abbey Light 8 minutes read

Do you know that hurting a narcissist emotionally isn’t as hard as you might have thought about it? They might seem unbreakable and untouchable because they think highly of themselves.

But don’t worry anymore, in this article, you will know how to hurt and break the hearts of a narcissist.

They are good at making people inferior, and less valuable and also lose their self-confidence around people. That is why you must learn to beat them at their own game and show that you too can play this one.

Hurting a narcissist is simple. All you have to do is hurt them where it hurts the most, which is their ego.

They want people to feed on their ego and receive the attention they desire, whether good or bad. They don’t mind as long as it increases their awareness. At this point you will have to do the opposite which is not giving them what they deserve, making a mockery of them, and showing that you are better than them.

Is it possible to break a narcissist’s heart?

Yes, it is possible. A narcissistic person is a human being with feelings, and their feelings are what makes them think they are better than everyone in the room. They crave more publicity and awareness anywhere they go; they want to be the most talked about even in their relationships.

So, the best way to break a narcissist’s heart is not to give them the attention and admiration they crave. Loving yourself more and paying attention to another person will make a narcissist feel broken in their hearts.

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How to hurt a narcissist

There are several ways you can hurt a narcissist emotionally and make them feel less of themselves. If you are reading this article, it is because you may have a narcissistic husband, wife, or friend who might have done something horrible to you or someone you care about. Here are the ways you can hurt a narcissist;

1. Give your attention to someone else

A narcissist wants to be the center of attraction which is why they will hate to see you give their admiration and glory to another person, especially their competitors. To hurt a narcissist the most, you need to target their pride and bring it down. And by doing so, you need to make them feel less special.

Spending more time socializing with friends, such as going to parties and movies or spending time with their narcissistic friends, can hurt a narcissist emotionally. They begin to feel like you don’t care about them anymore like you used to.

2. Loving yourself more

When you focus on self-love and reduce the love and attention you give to a narcissist, it can cause them emotional pain. It also shows that you are better than them and you focus on what makes you happy.

In relationships, a narcissist isn’t always fair when it comes to their partners. They will want all their love and needs figured out, neglecting their partners’ needs.

But if you show that you are happier without them and pay less attention to them, they will feel hurt and heartbroken.

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3. Spending more time with their friends

To hurt a narcissist the most, you need to target who they are close to, which is often their friends. when you spend more time with their friends, they begin to experience jealousy and most importantly, heartbroken.

A narcissist doesn’t like it when you give your attention to someone else, especially their close friends. they want you all themselves and they would rather fight with the opposition than let themselves be miserable.

4. Creating your own happiness

When you show that you are happier and healthier without them, they will feel hurt and betrayed in their hearts. They want you to feed from their happiness and their ego which is why they provide you with the luxuries you need, just to keep you in check with them.

But when you show them that you don’t need them to be happy, and begin to improve on yourself and find what makes you happy, they will feel hurt.

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5. Putting on strong boundaries

Crossing people’s boundaries is what a narcissist knows best. They manipulate you to get what they want, which can include crossing your boundaries and making you feel hurt in the process.

But to put a stop to this and make them feel hurt, you need to stand your ground and put strong boundaries for them not to cross.

However, they might manipulate you by making you feel like you are hurting them or thinking they want the best for you, which is not true. They only want what is best for them and to satisfy their desires.

You must learn to say ‘no’ to a narcissist, no matter how good it may sound. When you start rejecting their offers, you start to build your self-esteem, and worth, which can hurt their pride.

6. Stop caring about their needs

You can hurt a narcissist when you stop caring about them. They want you to prioritize their desires first over yours. But you can stop it.

When you stop caring about what they want and how they are doing, you make them reduce their ego and hurt them emotionally. That is why in a relationship, a narcissist is always in control. They are strong manipulators who let their partners do their bidding.

But if you have a narcissistic friend or partner who all they care about is themselves, stop caring about them! That is the best way you can definitely hurt a narcissist.

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7. Tell them you are not falling for their act

When you see what a narcissist is doing and you confront them by saying ‘I am not falling for it’, they will feel hurt and humiliated. Most times they get away with their evil deeds because we don’t openly disagree with them and challenge them.

The moment you tell them that you are not falling for their tricks which could be different manipulation tactics like gaslighting, love-bombing, etc. they will back off feeling disgraced and emotionally hurt.

8. Doing the opposite of what they want

We all know that a narcissist is concerned only about their desires. but the moment you start doing the opposite by not giving them everything they desire; they begin to feel hurt immediately. The idea is for you to stay in control and start making your own decisions, rather than for them to be bossing you around and making you lose sight of who you are. In other words, not doing what a narcissist wants can hurt them emotionally and increase your respect and worth.

9. Making them feel humiliated in public

In public, a narcissist will want you to represent them in the ways they want, which could be dressing and walking in a certain way, talking to only the people they want you to. They turn you into their puppet which is so embarrassing.

But you could do otherwise. You can decide not to do what they tell you to do. In this case, you’re in control and setting your priorities straight. Doing this can make them feel hurt and humiliated.

10. Drop all connections with them

Dropping all connections with a narcissist can make you gradually lose interest in them which can also hurt them in the process. When you stop receiving their calls, texts, or gifts. You begin to cut all connections with them, which can be the beginning of your happiness and joy.

A narcissist uses his power, resources, and words to keep you under their control. But when you show them that you don’t care anymore about what they can offer and discard everything they give you; they will surely get heartbroken.

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Conclusion on how to hurt a narcissist

In conclusion, effectively hurting a narcissist involves targeting their pride and ego, which are central to their sense of self-worth. By redirecting your attention to others, especially their competitors, you challenge their need for admiration.

Prioritizing self-love and creating your own happiness can diminish their influence over you. Engaging more with their friends can evoke jealousy and hurt. Establishing firm boundaries and saying ‘no’ can thwart their manipulative tactics.

Disregarding their needs and openly confronting their manipulative behaviors can significantly bruise their ego. Publicly defying their expectations and severing all connections ultimately dismantle their control and contribute to their emotional distress.

These strategies collectively empower you to hurt the feelings of a narcissist.

July 10, 2024 0 comments

Relationship tips

How Do I Leave a Narcissist: 11 Strategic Ways

by Abbey Light July 9, 2024

written by Abbey Light 8 minutes read

Leaving a narcissistic partner is no different from leaving a happy, healthy relationship. The only major difference in both relationships and why it might seem harder is because; a narcissist knows how to get away with words through – manipulations.

Another important thing to note is that you should not have any regrets about leaving a narcissist, as it is the best and healthiest decision for you.

Most people today live with a narcissist mostly because of their financial status which takes away their self-esteem and freedom. But only those with the courage and discipline can overcome a narcissist. Those who aren’t going to let anyone manipulate and take away their glory, just because of resources.

A narcissist wouldn’t want to let you go because they need you to keep their ego alive. They need to have their ego fed and receive the admiration and give them the admiration they deserve.

In this article, I will show you ways you can leave a narcissist in a relationship and become happy again.

But wait a second,

Do narcissists ever let go?

Yes, a narcissist can let you go, if you disappear, never call or text them and also never glorify them.

Unlike every other proud human being, a narcissist wouldn’t want to let you go because they need you to feed on their ego and make them feel admired. In a relationship, you are the closest to a narcissist and they will want you all to themselves.

How do I leave a narcissist

If you are dealing with a narcissistic friend, husband, and wife; and you want them gone, then this article is for you. There are effective ways you can leave a narcissist and get rid of them permanently from your life.

Living with a narcissist is unhealthy in a relationship and can reduce your self-esteem and increase theirs because they want you to submit to them totally.

Here is how you can leave a narcissist;

1. Do not have a last moment with them

A narcissist is good at making you stay if they want to; this is a way of manipulating you to get what they want. Having your last moment could be spending your last night, trips, dinner, or movies together; which could be a negative decision to leave them.

Avoid spending those last precious moments you have in your head with them or else it might not work. Do not have an arrangement to leave them, just go at once. This is a way of saying, do not think about leaving a narcissist. It will help you leave a narcissist for good once and for all.

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2. Don’t tell them you’re leaving

Telling a narcissist you are leaving is a wrong chess move. As a matter of fact, you might not leave anymore because they are so good at persuasion and making you feel guilty about your decision. They’re going to make you feel like you will not see anyone like them anywhere. They will begin making promises to you that they will change and become better.

It’s best not to inform a narcissist that you’re planning to leave them, as it will make it easier to move on without their manipulative attempts to make you stay.

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3. Be two steps ahead of them

Do not take a narcissist as average for they are very good at making you less of yourself. And when leaving a narcissist you should be prepared for every possible outcome.

In case they know about you leaving them, prepare a backup plan; which could be telling your friends about it for support. If you cannot handle leaving them, maybe they are good in words; then talk to a friend who sees things differently from your own point of view, they will bring you back to the real world.

Narcissists are smart, I mean very smart. They can see betrayal from a mile away, especially from their partners. But they are humans, they all make mistakes. That is why you must prepare ahead by being two steps ahead of them.

4. Setting straight boundaries

By setting boundaries you make a narcissist feel uncomfortable around you. They love to make you feel less about yourself and themselves as the price. But when you set your boundaries around them, by becoming decisive with your actions, complimenting yourself more, and not letting anyone take away your happiness; can be an effective way for a narcissist to leave you.

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5. Throwing away the gifts from them

Gifts are ways to remember people, which make you think of every good time, you ever had with them, forgetting the bad. Don’t forget, that gifts are what narcissist uses to manipulate you into their traps. They buy you very expensive pieces of jewelry, gadgets, cars, and other items, just to get you feeding on their glory.

The moment you decide to let everything go, you become better and stronger with yourself. You realize that you have been chained to their happiness and never found yours. Throwing away the gifts of a narcissist can be an effective way to leave them.

6. Entering incognito mode

Entering incognito or ghost mode can be a way to escape a narcissist. This means disappearing from all social networks and avoiding posting pictures with family for a while can help a narcissist leave you and move on with their life and also you leaving them.

When you disappear from the social media, they begin to forget you. As you all know, narcissists want to feel special, and by doing that, they continue feeding their ego. They have no other option but to move on.

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7. Have friends who motivate and support you

Leaving a narcissist might be difficult doing it alone because you will have to think of the luxury that goes with it. But when you have people who care and support you all the time, you will have no issues making your decision to leave them.

Being around your friends who see things differently and also have your best interest can be a way to leave a narcissist.

8. Reconnecting with your mind

Your mind is what a narcissist wants to take control of, and they do that by idolizing themselves in you and also feeding you with material things.

But when you reconnect with your mind, you begin to see things as they should be which is seeing yourself as the prize, not them. You could connect with your mind by listening to daily motivation and daily meditation. Reconnecting with your mind can open you to endless possibilities and make you see life differently away from a narcissist.

9. You need to develop self-love again

Finding happiness outside a narcissist can be a way to leave a narcissist for good. People get lost in finding out who they really are because their narcissistic husband, wife, or friend has made them feel less of themselves.

When you start loving yourself again you will begin to experience the true meaning of happiness and peace.

There are different ways to show love to yourself;

Having Self-awareness
Prioritizing yourself
Setting boundaries
Showing gratitude to others
Take care of your health
Reading and improving your mind

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10. Disconnect with everything you had with them

Another way you can leave a narcissist is by cutting ties with everything and everyone around them. When you disconnect with them you begin to see yourself more often than when you are with them. Because when you’re with them you are deprived of loving and caring for yourself. They will want you to feed their ego and make them feel special about themselves.

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11. You need to seek professional help

Seeking professional guidance on dealing with a narcissist can help you leave a narcissist for good. You could see a mental health professional has more experience when it comes to narcissism abuse among people. They specialize in assisting individuals like you in removing a narcissist from your life and finding peace.

Conclusion on leaving a narcissist

Leaving a narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally draining process, but it’s essential for your well-being. The key steps involve cutting off contact without warning, staying ahead of their manipulative tactics, and setting firm boundaries.

Avoid any final sentimental moments or announcing your departure, as these can give the narcissist a chance to manipulate you into staying. Dispose of any gifts that remind you of them to break emotional ties, and enter a period of social media silence to help them forget you.

Surround yourself with supportive friends and focus on rebuilding your self-love and self-awareness. Finally, consider seeking professional help to navigate the complexities of leaving a narcissist and to ensure a safe and permanent separation.

By taking these steps, you can reclaim your life and move towards a healthier, happier future.

July 9, 2024 0 comments

Relationship tips

11 Proven Ways to Know You Are Dating a Narcissist

by Abbey Light July 5, 2024

written by Abbey Light 8 minutes read

Dating a narcissist could be very hard because of a lack of mutual love and respect for one another. A narcissist’s job is to satisfy his wants and ego and he/she can do that better by manipulating you in the relationship.

When going into a relationship it is most important that you find someone who shares mutual interest and goals with you; it shouldn’t be hard to spot a cunning narcissist from a mile away.

A narcissist can only get away with what he wants if you don’t know what you want in a relationship.

but don’t you worry, in this article, I will show you how you can know if you are dating a narcissist.

Is dating a narcissist bad in a relationship?

Yes, dating a narcissist can be considered unhealthy and unethical in a relationship. When you find yourself with a narcissist, you should know that you’re going to be left drained emotionally and also in the process of losing your self-esteem.

How to know if you are dating a narcissist

It is crucial to understand the kind of partner you want to be with, and being with a narcissist isn’t a healthy form of relationship. So, in that case, it is important to spot a narcissist and deal with it before it hurts you both emotionally and physically.

Here is how to know if you are dating a narcissist;

1. They want you to only feed on their needs

A narcissistic partner is always out for themselves and it shouldn’t be hard to know when a partner isn’t caring about you. Love is all about being there for one another, but in the case of a narcissist, they are only there for themselves.

You should watch out for these people because they are toxic and don’t care what you think. Instead, they want you to satisfy their desires and wants in the relationship.

They always want you to show up for them but they wouldn’t do the same. Avoid being with these kinds of people because they will manipulate you to always do what they want.

NEW RELATED: HOW TO MAKE A NARCISSIST JEALOUS OF YOU

2. They feel entitled to everything and everyone

The main characteristic of a narcissistic partner is their high ego and their tendency to disregard those around them. The mindset of a narcissist is that they believe everyone should worship them and always submit to their will; this trait can make narcissists feel entitled to everything and everyone. It demands respect, which can be unhealthy for a relationship.

The best way to deal with this kind of people is to totally avoid them before it gets out of hand. Though it might be harder with someone you love, but when it comes to your mental health, you need to stay safe.

3. They ignore your feelings and focus on themselves

It will be so depressing to find yourself being ignored by your partner. It sometimes makes you feel like you don’t exist. I understand and I have been there. Most times we might be seeking all the attention from our partners but they aren’t returning it.

PRO TIPS: Though someone might be busy, remember that no one is too busy to make time for you.

In the case of a narcissist, it is different. They choose to ignore you just to feed their own ego and satisfy their personal game.

4. They manipulate you to do their bidding

A narcissistic partner always knows how to go about manipulating their partners to do their bidding. They don’t care what it will cost them as long as they achieve what they are aiming at. They are regarded as selfish and egoistic beings.

They know how to play the victim, talking you into doing what they want and also hurting you in the process. Mind you, they don’t care about what you feel or think, but just their goals.

5. They regard their opinions over yours

To spot a manipulating narcissistic partner isn’t hard. In fact, they are just after what they can carry and not caring about your opinion in the relationship.

Sometimes you may want to express your thoughts or bring up ideas that work for both of you in the relationship, but your partner may not be interested and only cares about their own thoughts. This is a sign that should be a cause for concern in a relationship and, for the most part, should be avoided.

6. They want you only when they want something

Another major trait of a narcissist is that they always ‘take’ and do not ‘give back’. These people are toxic to your well-being and must be watched carefully for they do not wish you well. In most cases, you might not be aware of this toxic behavior maybe because of how much you deeply care and love your partner.

You must try to understand that love is all about loving and caring for each other. When you love someone, you must be prepared to give them your all and stand by them when they need you, not treat them like a machine to be exploited.

NEW ARTICLE: 12 WAYS TO MAKE A NARCISSIST RESPECT YOU

7. They feed from constant validation from others

A narcissist is always after constant validation and admiration from others, which could affect their relationships with their partners. They are most concerned about what people think of them and do not pay attention to what their partner has to say or even their very existence. When they perform this act, it becomes clear that you are dating a self-absorbed narcissist.

When your partner is constantly having self-admiration, they don’t make time for you in the relationship which might lead to them ghosting you and leaving you depressed.

8. They feel jealous of others

Jealousy has always been a thing of a narcissist which is because they crave to be the best in the room, and when they don’t have that control, they become paranoid. Also, they most times mistrust their partners.

A narcissist always wants to have everything within their reach. They don’t mind what it will cost; they will just do it. This behavior can have a negative impact on their relationships, leading their partners to experience mistrust, suspicion, and anxiety.

9. They think they are always right

A narcissistic partner always thinks they are right all the time. Making them choose their opinion over and over again, ignoring their partners. They are always self-absorbed individuals who care only about themselves and their desires.

Sometimes, they may receive valuable ideas from their partners that seem more valuable than their own, but their ego wouldn’t let them choose it. They wouldn’t want to feel wrong about their own ideas. They would rather ignore your thoughts and go with theirs.

NEW RELATED: HOW TO LEAVE A NARCISSIST FOR GOOD

10. They use you as their trophies

Making you look like a trophy is what a narcissist does in a relationship. They love to represent you outside as one of the best things that has ever happened to them, but inside they treat you differently.

They are good at making themselves look good outside, which means also making you look good as well. But they don’t truly care about you, just what will satisfy and sustain their ego.

Narcissistic partners are dangerous in a relationship and can harm you emotionally. It’s better to avoid being treated as a trophy by someone who doesn’t truly love you.

11. They are always arrogant

Another way to tell if you are dating a narcissist is, that they are always full of themselves and look down on others. They do not respect people but their egos. Narcissist only wants what is best for them and don’t appreciate the love from others.

They don’t respect their partner’s boundaries; instead, they choose to please themselves. If it involves crossing their partner’s boundaries, they will do so. Avoid these people for they are mean and toxic to your mental and physical health.

NEW RELATED: 10 BEST WAYS TO HURT A NARCISSIST

Conclusion

how do i know i am in a relationship with a narcissist

In conclusion, identifying whether you are dating a narcissist involves recognizing several key traits. A narcissistic partner will prioritize their own needs and desires above all else, expecting you to constantly cater to them without reciprocation. They feel entitled to everything and everyone, often disregarding your feelings and manipulating you to do their bidding. Their opinions will always take precedence over yours, and they will only seek you out when they want something.

Narcissists thrive on constant validation from others and exhibit jealousy when they don’t receive the attention they crave. They believe they are always right, dismissing your valuable input to protect their ego. They may use you as a trophy to boost their own image while treating you poorly behind closed doors. Their arrogance and lack of respect for boundaries further reveal their self-centered nature.

If you recognize these behaviors in your partner, it’s crucial to protect your mental health by distancing yourself from the relationship. Love should be a mutual exchange of care and respect, not a one-sided manipulation. Avoiding such toxic individuals will help you foster healthier, more balanced relationships in the future.

July 5, 2024 0 comments

reasons why you fall in love with wrong people

Relationship tips

12 Reasons Why People Fall in Love with the Wrong Person

by Abbey Light June 12, 2024

written by Abbey Light 8 minutes read

Many relationships are scattered because we fall in love with the wrong person. We may believe they are the right people for our lives, but we often end up losing and not feeling equally loved.

Some people fall in love with the wrong person not because they choose to, but situations like; lust, pressure, and money might be the causes of choosing the wrong partner for your life.

It is always proper to examine yourself, including choosing to put yourself first.

When you put yourself first, for example, what you want in life; you will be able to understand the type of man and woman you want to be with.

Although, you might not get the perfect man or woman, because life isn’t perfect itself. It is all about working things out together and making sure you strive to become better couples.

Why people are not loving you the way you love them

Love is reciprocal, it is totally fine if people don’t love you, and besides not everyone likes the person you are. Think about it this way: Did you know that people at the top of their careers often make enemies?

And if you find yourself in a situation where people are not returning the same love and energy you give to them it doesn’t mean that you are doing something wrong but maybe they aren’t feeling you as they ought to.

Also, These are some reasons why people may not reciprocate your love:

You have a lot of fantasies
You are self-centered
You are impatient
You dream of a perfect partner
Trust issues
You don’t understand them
You don’t fit their standards
You might be too available
They see you as a friend
You are not full of surprises

12 reasons why you fall in love with the wrong person

reasons why people fall in love with wrong people list

It is not your fault if you fall in love with the wrong person, as a matter of fact, a lot of us have fallen in love with someone who doesn’t match our energy.

In this article, we are going to look into why people fall in love with the wrong person and how to correct our mistakes with it.

1. They are desperate

Most times we let our feelings get the best of us, causing us to fall in love with someone who doesn’t care as much as we do about them. being desperate involves seeking the attention of someone you care deeply about. This makes the person you’re interested in lose value or will I say ‘romantic feelings’ for you.

Being desperate for someone is a major reason why people fall in love with the wrong person. Although, it is good to show love and concern for someone you care about. But when you begin to show so much need for the person, that is where it all goes wrong.

NEW RELATED: HOW TO MAKE A NARCISSIST MISS YOU

2. They fall in lust

A significant reason people often fall in love with the wrong person is due to the influence of lust and desire. This is one of the reasons people are driven wrongly because of the idea of sex.

People choose sex over communication, respect, honesty, and trust. Don’t get me wrong about this; having a romantic feeling for someone is good, but when you prioritize it above all, you might end up falling for the person.

3. They have no connections

Having a connection with someone might involve mutual respect, sharing similar ideas, playing games together, and having future plans. This is what some people ignore and should be taken very seriously because, without a good connection, there is no happy relationship but only a toxic life.

Finding the right person means finding someone with great similarities. Haven’t you seen couples who always display great similarities such as having fun, sharing the same goals, and showing compassion for each other? These are good tributes to find in a relationship.

4. They fall for the money

Money has always been a major factor in a toxic relationship. Many people get it wrong when they look into material things over a good and healthy relationship.

Money is good, in fact, money is essential in a relationship. But in the case where you put money first in a relationship over a healthy relationship, you will get it wrong. You will be drawn to the person who might end up hurting you and making you feel less of yourself.

In other words, go for someone who shares common goals and ambitions with you. Chase your dreams together, then money will come. It is one of the best ways to grow in a relationship: growing together.

NEW ARTICLE: 12 WAYS TO MAKE A NARCISSIST JEALOUS

5. They look for a perfect partner

There is nothing like ‘perfect’ in a relationship. You might always get what you want from your partner. A lot of people get it wrong by putting in the fantasy of having their dream man come through.

Dream man can come through, sure!

And you might not always see it instantly, because life cannot be sweet without the journeys. When you share your dreams and plans with your partner, you will begin to see your dreams come through as you go on with them.

So with that said, ‘A perfect partner’ cannot be instantly seen but experienced as you find your way in life.

6. They don’t have friendship qualities

Having a partner is like having a best friend. Certain qualities that make a friend which are;

Good listener
Supportive (emotional & physical)
Trustworthy
Respect your boundaries
Cares about your well-being
Fun to be with

These qualities are what makes a good friend and it should be the same qualities every partner must possess. Most times when a partner doesn’t exhibit these qualities someone else gives it to them, which could cause misunderstanding in a relationship.

Looking for someone who shares friendship qualities can be a good way to find the right person and avoid the wrong ones.

7. They get moved by pressure

Another reason people fall in love with the wrong person is pressure. Having the pressure of getting someone right away because their friends are getting married or in a relationship. This could be caused by their families or friends telling them to do what they want them to do.

Falling in love involves being certain about the person you are with and having great qualities with the person. being under pressure is the wrong way to go when choosing a partner.

You should take your time to carefully choose a life partner, rather than rushing and ending up with the wrong person.

8. They don’t understand one another

Having a mutual understanding of one another is what builds a good relationship. People tend to fall in love with the wrong person because they lack a common interest – understanding.

When you are searching for a soulmate, you need to look into something you both share and love doing. You cannot be with someone who doesn’t show love and respect to you, in fact, it is highly toxic and forbidden in your health.

Rather find someone who understands you, even when you are wrong, and corrects you with love. Lack of understanding is what causes people to fall in love with the wrong person.

9. They go for status

People fall in love with the wrong person because they chase glory, power, and respect. In today’s world, we find people forgetting the old romantic way of showing love and going for status.

Today, we have social media which has influenced the way we live and our culture. Making people chase fame, power, and attention. This could also involve chasing people’s status and relative positions just to make themselves seen.

10. They lack self-awareness

People who fall in love with the wrong people often lack self-awareness which involves knowing what they want because they don’t know what they want from someone they choose the wrong person for their lives which can be unhealthy.

You need to know what you want when choosing a partner. These can involve setting out the qualities you want in a man or a woman. This can bring about certainty to what you want in a relationship and life.

11. They are afraid of being alone

The fear of being alone can be a major of you falling in love with the wrong person. why should you be scared? The idea of fear is an illusion programmed in your mind that is not seen.

Everyone deserves happiness, even you.

You can also be in love, first by removing fear from your mind, and believing you can find true love. When you feel fear of being alone, you begin to rush into a relationship. In the worst sceneries, you choose whoever comes your way because you want to be in a relationship. which is bad for you!

12. They relate to their past lives

People let their past relationships affect their current lives with their partners, creating a negative thought that everyone is the same. Having a terrible past should not affect your current relationship. Instead, it should make you feel safe around them because someone is now here to make you feel better and loved than in your past life.

Remove that wrong impression of people because it only makes it harder for people to feel comfortable around you, which can chase people away from you.

Final thoughts

12 reasons why you fall in love with wrong people

In conclusion, people often fall in love with the wrong person due to a combination of factors such as desperation, lust, lack of connection, and prioritizing money or status over genuine compatibility. Rushing into relationships, succumbing to pressure, and a lack of self-awareness or fear of being alone can also lead to poor romantic choices.

Additionally, unrealistic expectations of finding a perfect partner and letting past relationships influence current ones can negatively impact one’s love life.

Understanding these reasons can help individuals make better choices in their relationships and avoid repeating the same mistakes.

June 12, 2024 0 comments

Relationship tips

How to Stop Being a Simp: 14 Effective Ways to Stop Simping

by Abbey Light May 20, 2024

written by Abbey Light 10 minutes read

Simps are mostly regarded as failures and weak in today’s world. They are a definition of needy and desperate. They always want to leave to please girls, which is why they are being used and not appreciated or loved in return.

Consider simps to be a low version of a man. They are not the type of men that a woman wants in her life. Do you know what a woman wants in a man?

Simp does not know how to please or put themselves first; instead, they will love to put the needs and wants of the person they admire and are sexually interested in. They lack all forms of respect for themselves because their desire to please the person they want wouldn’t let them be who they are.

They are willing to make all the sacrifices in the world to please and get the attention and love of the woman they desire at no limit. In the process of doing this, they lose themselves, making themselves feel worthless, weak, disrespected, unloved and unappreciated.

Before I go into how to stop being a simp and a needy man, you will need to properly understand who a simp really is.

Who is a simp?

In the Gen Z world, a ‘simp’ is a person who is overly desperate and needy for attention and love from other women, in possession of affection and sexual feelings.

A man who knows his value (worth) will never simps for a woman.

Pro tips: Simps are mostly found in men who desperately seek the love and desires of a woman.

Simps are mostly known to be taken for granted, which is what most men don’t know. They think they are doing just fine, but they don’t know they are losing their value and recognition in a woman.

What causes someone to be a simp?

Having desperate feelings and desires for someone makes a person simp. A man usually simps for a woman because he has low self-esteem, low value, and lacks respect for himself.

A high-value man is a man who knows his worth and never compromises for anybody. They are everyone’s favorites that is because they are charming, self-respected, intelligent, and know exactly what they want, unlike the weak man who compromises for the likes and love of a woman.

NEW RELATED: HOW TO BE A HIGH-VALUE MAN

How to stop being a simp

Being a simp is a negative attraction for a woman, and you need to stop it if you are simping for a woman you love. A woman wouldn’t want to be with a simp, nor want a man with no love and respect for himself. They want a man who knows his worth and attracts women to him. Here are the ways to stop simping for someone;

1. Start believing in yourself

Most men who simp for girls are men with low confidence and determination. They are only determined to get the girl they are so obsessed with.

They find it hard to build and create importance for themselves. Instead, they dedicate their entire time and energy to obsessing about a girl who doesn’t feel the same way about him.

When you believe in what you input, you can do anything, whether it is talking to the most attractive girl in the room or setting standards for yourself. You can always do it; I mean, making those girls chase you instead of being their lap rat like a simp.

2. Putting yourself first

Most men make the common mistake of putting the needs of a girl they like before their own. To avoid simping for a girl, you need to put yourself first. By that, I mean giving yourself more attention, saying no to certain things, taking care of your health, etc.

When you put yourself first before others, you will see that you will have more dominant power and believe in what you can do. So, my friends, put in the work, care for yourself, make sure you don’t do what you can’t, and stop paying attention to matters that will hurt you in the end.

NEW RELATED: 7 SIGNS A GIRL DOESN’T LIKE YOU

3. Stop appreciating her a lot

Most men fail at this point, which is glorifying her looks and her existence. Putting a woman on a pedestal is a wrong move as a man. You will be looked at differently instead of the man you came to love her for; you will be looked at as a ‘close friend.’

Acknowledging a woman’s look a lot of the time makes her feel superior to you, which is what a simp does all the time. You need to stand your ground, appreciate yourself more often, and be the one with the higher power instead of her.

4. Delete her from your life

The best way to stop being a simp is by deleting the ones you are obsessed with from your life. This could be deleting her from your phone, changing your environment if they do come there often, or regular meditation to have a clear focus on your life.

Deleting them from your life can be a helpful tool for self-improvement and adaptation. However, you cannot focus on becoming a better you if you are still in touch with the person you are attracted to or obsessed with.

5. Learn to always say NO

There is power when you disagree with what people tell you. This helpful tip helps the girl you are desperate for in their place. This works properly when you see that the person you are always obsessed with is always accepted by men around her. When you say ‘no’ to what she says, it triggers her to look at you differently from the others.

Only the simps do whatever a woman says, even if it displeases them. Because they desperately seek their love and attention, they don’t mind. Only men of high value know what they want and do not tolerate just anyone.

6. Groom yourself to become attractive

To deal with a simp behavior, you need to self-develop yourself to become irresistibly attractive. Why are you attracted to her? It is because she has the quality you seek, right? If so, my friend, why do you seek to become better and attract her to you?

You can be better if you focus on grooming yourself. There are ways to allure people to you in different ways:

Setting boundaries
Looking dominant
Walk slowly and observant
Eating healthy foods
Smell nice
Walking with purpose

NEW ARTICLE: 12 WAYS TO MAKE A NARCISSIST JEALOUS

7. Don’t be constantly available

Being constantly available for someone can result in a ‘see finish’ situation. It is important to know that ‘scarcity’ creates ‘importance.’ If you ever notice how celebrities never stay in the room for too long or don’t come to certain events, that is because they try to keep their presence scarce and maintain a high value for themselves.

As a man, you should avoid being too available for a girl, especially the ones you find interesting. They will not see you differently if you are always constantly around them.

8. Always please yourself

Simps are less valuable and unimportant because they don’t show love and respect for themselves as they do for others. People usually perceive them as disgusted and needy.

Putting yourself first is not selfish; it’s essential. When you prioritize your own needs and well-being, you show others your true value and worth. This self-assurance is far more attractive than appearing desperate for someone else’s approval.

NEW ARTICLE: 14 SIGNS A GUY LIKES YOU MORE THAN A FRIEND

9. Daily exercises

Exercises like push-ups help exercise your mind and relieve you from failure. Push-ups will also help prevent you from simping for a girl because they help exercise the brain muscles, increase blood flow, and make you appear more confident.

Exercise is a powerful tool that can help you self-develop yourself and give you confidence in yourself. In other words, exercises are ways to stop you from simping for a girl.

10. Be confident when speaking and walking

Showing confidence when you speak may make you more recognized, and also walking confidently makes you attractive. Girls are attracted to men who show they have a purpose, and the best way to do this is to show your confidence when walking and speaking. This is a way to stop simping for a girl and improve your attractiveness towards her.

NEW RELATED: HOW TO BECOME A MORE ATTRACTIVE GUY

Sharing your personal information with people makes you feel seen and less of an option. But living a mysterious life creates attention and attracts people to you.

This also refers to sharing everything you have with the person you are most interested in. You cannot gain love and respect from someone with whom you don’t set your boundaries; instead, you will be dishonored, which can cause insecurities.

12. Stop calling and texting her all the time

Simps are always on the phone with the person they are deeply obsessed with. They don’t take a break from calling or texting, always prioritizing others’ needs over their own. When you call and text often, you show people that you don’t have anything to do with your time.

You make yourself overly available to them, which makes you look like a simp, of course. Stop texting and calling them often. Prioritize yourself first, and stop putting the needs of others first.

13. Build your personal space

Having your own space gives you self-awareness and time. When you build your space, you create more attention for yourself, you set boundaries, and you become whole. However, a simp will always consider putting others in their time, making them look cheap and easy to manipulate. Have time for yourself, learn to build your energy on positivity, and then you can withstand your weaknesses.

NEW RELATED: WHAT IS EVERY MAN’S WEAKNESSES

14. Becoming an alpha male

Alpha males are not easily manipulated or used by anyone. They are always the attractive ones with dominant, successful, and leadership traits, unlike Simps, who is the opposite of an alpha who desperately seeks the attention and love of a girl. They represent the ideal qualities that a girl seeks in a partner and are rarely rejected under any circumstances.

NEW RELATED: HOW TO BE AN ALPHA MALE

Conclusion on how to stop being a simp

To stop being a simp, you need to prioritize self-respect and personal growth over unhealthy obsessions. Start by believing in yourself and building your confidence, which helps shift your focus from obsessing over someone to valuing your own worth.

Put your own needs first, ensuring you maintain your health and well-being. Avoid over-appreciating her and placing her on a pedestal, as this diminishes your own value. Consider removing her from your life to facilitate self-improvement and clarity. Learn to assert yourself by saying no and setting boundaries, which will distinguish you from others who might also seek her attention. Groom yourself to become attractive, both physically and mentally, by maintaining good habits, practicing confidence, and creating a sense of scarcity about your presence.

Exercise regularly to boost your confidence and physical appearance. Stop oversharing and being constantly available, as maintaining some mystery and independence makes you more intriguing. Finally, build your personal space and work on becoming an alpha male, someone who is confident, assertive, and self-sufficient.

By following these steps, you can develop a healthier and more attractive persona, ultimately stopping the behavior that defines a simp.

May 20, 2024 0 comments

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